Dear Jewel,

The other night, someone said that I am a flirt. What is the difference between a flirt and a slut? —Jackie.

Dearest Jackie,

As the official Prime Minister of Flirtsville, I can’t help but believe there are several underlying differences between the Sluts and us Flirts. In our camp, we believe in drawing others in with enchanting conversations, gestures and attitudes. Our main objective in life is to partake in the delights of human companionship with complete control. Flirts have the official duty of making the world a brighter place with their zest for living.

In my opinion, the Sluts are an entirely different breed. They haphazardly zoom across barriers into zones they often wish they hadn’t traveled to. Many of their citizens carry passports that are blemished with careless sexual behaviour and more than their fair share of ill ramifications. In conclusion, we (the Flirts) are the more powerful nation!

Love Jewel.

Dear Jewel, I’ve slept with over 100 men and up until now, I have never been tested for HIV. I don’t have a health card and am wondering how does anonymous HIV testing work? I’m feeling anxious—where can I go?

Easy.

Dear Easy,

I’m happy to see that you are putting the motto of “better late than never” to work.

There is no need to get your panties in a knot; head over to the Hassle Free Clinic (556 Church Street), the largest anonymous HIV test site in Canada, and one of the most active sexually transmitted disease clinics.

The screening test (this is the new HIV antibody test, referred to as a rapid point-of-care test) takes only 15 minutes before they give you a result (whereas the standard HIV lab test takes a week and a half before you receive the result).

And for your information, the Hassle Free Clinic is the only site that provides this time-efficient rapid point-of-care test.

An additional highlight that may tickle your fancy is that the Hassle Free Clinic sees men and women separately.

No health card is required for the numerous services the Hassle Free Clinic provides in the women’s clinic.

The men’s clinic doctors are paid through OHIP, but nobody will be refused service without a health card. In any case, health cards are not used for anonymous HIV testing.

Best of luck.

Love Jewel