This week’s anvil gets dropped on the Admissions staff at Toronto’s post-secondary schools. How the hell are domestic students who lack even a generic grasp of the English language being admitted? Shouldn’t we all at least know what a homonym is? (Those of you who just made a gay joke-sorry, it’s too late for a registration refund). There are students in your very school who have serious difficulty identifying verbs, tenses, and reading numbers with more than four zeroes in them.

It’s not a professor’s job to review elementary education with students. The responsibility falls to the Admissions staff: raise the bar for English Language Assessments. Stop wasting our tuition dollars to re-teach the homespun morons who fell through the administrative cracks and landed in the seat next to mine.

The ACME Anvil is a weekly rant addressed to those who should be clobbered over the head with an anvil and left to die in the ditch on the side of an abandoned road.