Marcel Duchamp would have loved this place. LISA POWER/THE VARSITY

This past week has been stressful for nearly everyone I know, including myself. Midterms are heating up, my assignments are somehow late before they’re due, and even the last presidential debate has everyone’s cheeks puckering. For some, the resulting tension might throw their digestive systems out of whack.

For those that, like me, may find themselves in need of digestive aids, you could try various Yoga positions, drink copious amounts of water, or go for a long walk. Alternatively, you could just check out the Poop Café, located at 706 Bloor Street West, for inspiration. Sure, I could have gone to any one of the new, ‘trendy’ cafes that have popped up along Bloor Street, like The Good Neighbour, Coffee Pocket, and The Common, but nothing would beat the theme of this spot.

The café was bustling on a Friday night, with wait times of over an hour to get a table. The seats were toilets fitted with cushions, which allow you to enjoy sitting on the throne for an unhealthy period of time without feeling guilty for hogging the only Starbucks bathroom or your boss wondering where the hell you are.

The décor paid loving homage to stool, as smiling poop emoji were posted all over the chalkboard walls. Drawings of fecal matter adorned the space, and a fake turd on the ground near the stairs drew attention from the patrons who summoned all of their courage to nudge it with their feet.

I was particularly moved by a large board near the back of the café. It was covered in fake, bright green grass with a huge pile of  — also fake — shit located on the upper right corner. I was nearly reduced to tears. Everything I’d seen at the Louvre, the Tate, and the Met had suddenly been reduced to a kindergarten’s hand print turkey.

The menu features bingsu with your choice of Nutella, mango, matcha, Oreo, and more. The Thai ice cream rolls are a popular item, as well as their signature Poop Waffles served with your choice of filling — they hit a bit too close to home for me. Their Crazy Milkshake, milk tea, HK-style egg waffles, and gelato looked great too.

When asking patrons Conrad Grimmer and Stuart Norton about their experience at the café, they both agreed that the food was good and the whole thing is a pretty funny concept.

On the aesthetic, arguably the most important part of any café, Norton commented: “It was a very, very big commitment to the theme, which was impressive. I admire them for it… It’s very different. It was a funny, novel experience and I’m glad I went.”

Like our content? Subscribe to our weekly newsletter

* indicates required