A cold, austere Tuesday night seemed beautifully fitting for brooding visionary Billy Corgan’s first visit to Toronto since March 2003 (performing with the largely unsuccessful Zwan), at the plush Church of the Redeemer on Bloor St.
A devoted and adoring group of less than 200 fans-most of them, by all appearances, 20-somethings wistful for the grunge-rock ’90s which catapulted Corgan’s Smashing Pumpkins to both critical acclaim and commercial success. The evening would bear virtually no trace of the bubbly, heavy rock the band rose to fame for, but instead offered a rare, intimate encounter with the band’s conceptual, musical, and lyrical architect.
A noticeably gaunt and unshaven Corgan opened the show by reading a few poems from his just-released book, Blinking with Fists, to a rapt audience, interweaving the readings with serene and haunting vocals performed by Tibetan musician and friend Yungchen Lhamo.
But without fail, Corgan’s compelling brilliance came through only with the aid of his trusty guitar: he played a handful of unreleased, unmistakeably Corgan-esque acoustic ballads to the contentment of all. In words and demeanor, Corgan is visibly uncomfortable and gawky, but with the balance of music he transforms into a spacey, snarling, graceful dreamweaver with an inspired ability to craft universally moving yet intensely personal music.
“This is a song for anyone who still feels lost,” he said, peering into the pews before launching into a haunting and subtle melody: “I live inside and I just can’t care from here.” And, finally, the longing that accompanies the disconnected life: “Everything I am, everything I need, everything I want is you.”
In between songs, Corgan invited fans up on stage to read his poems and took opportunity to pontificate on various subjects from his newfound spirituality to the tepid critical response to Blinking with Fists.
“In 1988 when I started my band, everybody told me we sucked… ‘Your songs are too long, you’re a fucking drama queen, nobody wants to hear this shit…’ And that’s basically what people are saying now about the book. But the greater the resistance, the closer you get to your goal.”
Corgan may be right. But for now, we hope he keeps playing music on his way there.
