Bacillus anthrasis, a.k.a. anthrax, a.k.a. bin Laden’s little helper, is the latest weapon of evil-doers in their battle against the avatars of freedom and democracy.

It is a zoonotic disease, which means it can be transmitted to humans from animals but not from human to human.

The most likely culprits are cows since several hundred die each year in Canada from the disease. Several hundred. Now, why do these cows have anthrax and what could they possibly be doing handling such a dangerous weapon? The truth is startling.

The enemy is everywhere. They could strike at any time and the most horrifying aspect of this new form of warfare is that the agents of terror are ubiquitous. All across Canada, in small postcard towns in northern Ontario, in sleepy hamlets dotting the Maritime coastline, special biological weapons factories operate twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week.

Housed in farmyards, in tin roofed barns, highly specialized bio-weapons factories blink their bulging eyes and chew their cud, biding their time, waiting for their opportunity to strike! Old McDonald not only has a farm, he manages a vast terrorist facility.

Even if his bovine hordes are not currently producing anthrax, Ol’ Mac is harbouring potential agents of terror, certainly reason enough to strike hard, fast and without mercy.

We will draw no distinction between the terrorists and those who harbour them.

We demand that those who protect these fiends hand them over immediately. Corporations who deal with these terrorists will be sanctioned, as we must make no distinction between those who raise and milk these terror machines and those who frequent establishments where by-products of these multi-stomached monsters are sold.

The free nations of the world, united, will strike with resounding might.

We shall not rest until the scourge of terrorism has been defeated, until the shadow it casts has been forever vanquished by all that is good, all that is noble, kind, brave and free. God bless America.

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