Who says Valentine’s Day should be devoted just to pleasing women? What about men? What if we devoted one day out the year to pleasing men? Yes, that’s right, put aside second-wave feminism and embrace the pleasure of pleasing your man-Japanese style.
Unlike the North American custom-perhaps stereotype-of men showering women with flowers and chocolates on Valentine’s Day, this is a foreign idea in Japan, where the women are the ones obligated to give men presents on the special day. In fact, the entire holiday is focused on men: marketing tactics by department stores are geared towards women who are buying chocolate not just for their boyfriends or husbands, but for their male co-workers, brothers, and friends. In fact, different kinds of chocolate are used to send different messages to the recipient.
There are two types of Valentine’s Day chocolate, explains Kaori Kato, a Japanese student attending her first year at Ryerson and also spending her first Valentine’s Day in North America.
“First you have giri-chocolate,” she told The Varsity. “‘Giri’-which translates to ‘obligated’-is given only to male friends and family.” The second type is called honmei-chocolate. “Honmei,” which means “I love you,” is a much more expensive chocolate, Kato explained.
Kato says most Japanese girls learn at an early age to make honmei chocolate at home.
“This has been a long-standing tradition in Japan,” said Kato. “Even when I was in elementary school, I remember when boys would sit at their desk waiting for chocolates from girls and then count them in competition with other boys.” In fact, most men feel ashamed if they receive nothing for Valentine’s Day, says Kato. “I had a guy ask me to buy him chocolate on Valentine’s Day because he felt left out.”
Japan also has an event just for women, called “White Day,” which is held one month after Valentine’s Day, on March 14, and is an opportunity for men to give gifts in return to the women who gave them chocolate.
When asked about the North American version of Valentine’s Day, Kato said, “I saw [in Japan] on American TV shows how girls don’t buy chocolate for guys and I’ve always thought that was strange. Valentine’s Day is a much bigger event in Japan [than in Canada], more [celebrated] than Christmas!” But Kato does admit that for her first year in Canada, her mom has already decided to follow Canadian custom, and, for the first time, expects to receive chocolates from her husband.
