I’ll admit that I’m a sucker for just about any pointless gadget you can imagine. My pockets runneth over with ridiculous techy ephemera, from the predictable (iPod, cellphone) to the outright useless (I have no idea why I bought a barcode scanner on eBay; I have even less of an idea why I bought two). But even I-a devoted early adopter of any ridiculous electronic bauble that comes along-am baffled by the concept of satellite radio. With two new such services coming to Canada before the year is out, I wish to register my backlash early: satellite radio is a stupid idea.
How’s this for a proposition: First, you, gentle consumer, will purchase a slick little piece of electronics. On its own, this gadget will do nothing; but once you’ve paid 13 bucks per month (on top of the cost of the radio), you can tune in to hundreds of stations’ worth of CD-quality music, beamed down from satellites. Satellites from Space. It must be futuristic. You feel like George Jetson already, no?
Satellite radio somehow manages to combine all the worst aspects of normal, 20th-century FM radio, with none of the benefits of digital music available on even the cheapest, made-in-Kazakhstan mp3 players. First, you have to buy yet another pricey chunk of electronics to clutter up your life; you don’t get to control what music is playing at any given time, as the digital “playlist” from the satellite is controlled by the radio network; you have to pay for essentially the same crappy music and idiotic chatter that you were formerly getting for free from any normal, free-broadcast FM radio station.
Do the math with me: A cheapo mp3 player can be purchased for less than $150, and you can fill it to your heart’s content with music from your own CDs, tracks from your friends, and maybe even-you filthy pirate-with a track or two downloaded illegally from the web. You can select which music you want to listen to, when you want it. Musical happiness.
Now, consider the satellite radio way: the cheapest receiver is, say, $50, and then you pay $12.99 per month to subscribe to the service. The one unique benefit: most of it is ad-free. But you have to have a clear line of sight to the satellite in order to get the signal, so don’t walk behind any skyscrapers. Cost: $179.16 (including tax) for one year and less flexibility.
Am I missing something? Is there something wonderful about this service that someone hasn’t pointed out to me, or is it just another way to lock consumers into paying for something that they used to get for nothing? Subscribe if you want, but I think satellite radio deserves a bad reception from listeners.
