With only a few summer courses occupying U of T’s many classrooms, the Toronto Diamond Way Buddhist Centre took advantage of the opportunity to bring renowned Buddhist speaker Karola Schneider-Waldner to Sidney Smith Hall on Friday, May 26, for a lecture on love and relationships according to Buddhism.

Schneider-Waldner took the stage, really just a table, sitting cross legged on a pillow.

“All Buddhists don’t have to sit like this,” she told the crowd, laughing. “It’s just more comfortable.”

Schnieder-Waldner was born in Germany, and first attended a Buddhist lecture 20 years ago, at the age of 16. She recalled how the man who was speaking wore army fatigues and was performing military exercises when she walked in, breaking the stereotypes that she held in her mind. After several years studying with Lama Ole, one of the great Western lamas, she began travelling the world teaching Buddhism.

“You will [soon] give up stiff ideas about Buddhism,” she said.

A running theme within the lecture is the application of Buddhism to all walks of life, especially in modern relationships. The rules of Buddhist relationships are not as strict as in some other religions and philosophies; what matters most is that your behaviour, whatever it may be, is making your partner happy, and that you are both helping each other develop and grow as individuals.

“It used to be a decision, to choose a spiritual life…or to be in a family…now [you] can [do] both.”

Schneider-Waldner drew a comparison between what are called the conditioned and the unconditioned states of mind. The conditioned state can occur in both positive and negative relationships, but in both cases happiness is based on certain conditions or external elements. The unconditioned mind is liberated, and creates the best kind of relationships because both partners are aware that all things are impermanent. Their joy does not depend on any conditions.

“We all have the Buddhist nature,” Schnieder-Waldner said. “That’s [one reason why] it is so precious to share my knowledge with others.”

While there were few, if any, U of T students to be found in the audience, the variety of attendees was a mix of curious newcomers and advanced followers looking to learn more.

“I had met several people who were into Buddhism, and so when I came to Toronto I looked up places I could go, and I saw that this lecture was coming up,” said an attendee who did not wish to have her name published. “The lecture seemed like a less stressful way to be introduced to the different practices [than to attend a meditation right away].”

“About 30 percent of the people here are practicing Buddhists from the Diamond Way Centre,” said Avi Silverman, a member. “I have been practicing since last July.”

“It is difficult to learn everything you need from books,” said Schneider-Waldner. She stresses the importance of practicing meditation as much as possible, and seeking the guidance of a teacher if you are serious about Buddhism. Incidentally, the Diamond Way Buddhist centre offers meditations for beginners twice a week.