There is one factor that every sports team out to win possesses: camaraderie.
Players need to be comfortable with their teammates, coaches, and trainers. This doesn’t mean that everybody has to necessarily like each other, but they should at the very least respect one another.
Sure, this mentality should be practiced by everyone, whether in the office, the living room, or Walmart, but have you ever seen the way athletes act with and around their teammates?
They take comfort to a whole new level.
As spectators, we think that players seem to have no insecurities when it comes to teammates and their personal space. We see players hugging in celebration, holding hands in anticipation, and smacking each other’s asses in congratulation.
In a typical work environment, this would be seen as harassment. But in sports, and excuse the Family Guy reference, “nothing says ‘good job’ like a firm, open-palm slap on the behind.”
Athletes do have boundaries, believe it or not, particularly in the locker room. There is a code, a certain etiquette that players must adhere to whenever they are in their sanctum.
On the field, personal space is non-existent, but in the locker room everyone has a piece of real estate, and there are limits to how players must conduct themselves.
From the depths of U of T’s locker rooms comes the following guide, and subsequent penalties for stepping out of bounds.
There are rules about violating another player’s safe-zone. Do not sit in another player’s stall, do not touch another player’s equipment, and most importantly, do not fart in the vicinity of someone else’s locker. Violations of these rules are not to be taken lightly.
A player once put a dead squirrel in a teammate’s locker. While some found it funny and others disturbing, this player had crossed the line.
How did the owner of the locker respond? By messing with the other’s equipment; he pooed in a cup, and then put the cup in his teammate’s helmet. Obviously, the instigator did not like this act of revenge, and a fight almost broke out.
Keeping in mind that it is a locker room and players will inevitably be nude at some point or another, there are a few laws regarding behaviour while exposed.
While it’s fine for two naked players to stand or sit talking to each other, once one player puts his or her leg up on the bench or spreads their legs, offside must be called. This is a locker room, not the set of Basic Instinct.
That being said, players must know what type of grooming is dressing-room appropriate, and what is not.
Do not shave or trim your pubes in the aisle. Sounds obvious, but it happens, and it’s not cool.
And if you have hemorrhoids, as shitty as it must feel, don’t apply your Preparation H in an open space while everyone is around you.
There is a sense of business within any given locker room, and it’s important for players to focus on the task at hand.
Park your personal problems outside the locker room. Whether it’s family issues, relationship problems, or academic troubles, the locker room is not the place to air them out. Sweaty balls, yes. Private matters, no.
There is also an interesting social dynamic in the dressing room, and it involves rookies and veterans. While hazing is illegal and frowned upon, there is still an element of it in the locker room, just not to the degree it once was.
Rookies don’t get sodomized with mop handles, sprayed with urine from shampoo bottles, or duct taped and then rubbed with feces and peanut butter — at least not any more.
It’s just about maintaining social order these days. Rookies aren’t to make eye contact with veterans, or laugh at their jokes.
If a rookie breaks the code, and say, decides to soak a veteran’s clothing, the consequences are severe. Once, the entire team pissed all over a rookie’s stuff, and put A5-35 in his gloves, helmet, and jock strap.
So while there are limitations to conduct in a dressing room, these boundaries seem unclear, or rather, are not set in a way that is… reasonable for a civilized society.
When you set foot in a locker room, you walk in with a clear conscience: no grudges and no outside distractions. When you leave the locker room, the slate is once again wiped clean.
What happens in the dressing room stays in the dressing room.
