Valentine’s Day honours those we love
January is a very dreary month. There is very little to re-focus our vision from the grey wall of snow and post-winter-break woe that has submersed us all in these first weeks of the new year. And there is even less if you choose to scowl at the smiling cherubim and construction paper hearts that decorate store windows and eateries come the beginning of February. Valentine’s Day is a known source for the polarization of our emotions. On one side, there are the romantic feelings: the jazzy saxophone music and blurry soap opera vision of those who have someone to share this day with. On the other, there is the bitterness towards a holiday that seems to only exist for the insensitive mockery of your singledom. There seems to be no middle ground, but there ought to be one.
The same way that the simple act of a stranger holding the door for you can brighten a dreary day, V-day is a moment amidst a series of cold, grey winter days wherein the secular population may gather and share in one common value.
This day in the middle of February doesn’t have to mean an expensive candlelit dinner with that special someone where you feed each other chocolate-dipped strawberries, but it should mean something. For John and Hank Green of Youtube’s Vlogbrothers fame, Valentine’s Day marks “Valen’s Penis Day,” a day created by the fandom of Babylon 5 to celebrate the visit of the demi-god Valen to earth and the subsequent spike in the population after his visit.
For teachers around the world it means a night of baking two dozen cupcakes with white and pink frosting for a group of seven-year-olds.
For the pagans of centuries yore, Valentine’s Day was marked by a massive feast to commemorate Juno, the Queen of the Roman Gods and Goddesses. This was joined by the matchmaking of youth in the community, where they would be joined up for the duration of the festivities and often build strong bonds from this partnership.
For others, yes, it does mean store-bought Hallmark cards and heart-shaped boxes of Ferrero Rochers.
But, just like nobody is obligated to get inebriated on St. Patrick’s Day, just like nobody is obligated to empty the shelves in a spell of consumer madness during the Christmas shopping rush, there is no strict code of conduct for the celebration of Valentine’s Day. Because, after all, it really is just a celebration of — at the risk of sounding mushy — love. Or camaraderie. Or mutual feelings of tenderness towards another individual. Or whatever word you choose that may be less likely to trigger your gag reflexes.
This day, as we commonly acknowledge it today, may be traditionally celebrated in our culture by consumer activities of shelling out money for disposable gifts and grasping to achieve the inflated expectations of others. To some it may seem to be a day in which other people’s happiness is flaunted in front of your down-turned and lonely face. There are so many holidays that capitalism has exploited for profit — this is not a new concept.
You don’t have to listen to Hallmark, nor do you have to be angry at them for taking the opportunity to profit from this holiday. It isn’t something meant to make you feel bad about being single, or bitter about all the others who are in relationships smiling and showering each other with shiny pink gifts. Valentine’s Day, rather, can allow you into a fascinating social experiment. We witness the evolution from second grade when we receive pop culture-themed cards from every member of the class, to the adolescent realization that sometimes you are a receiver of candy grams, and sometimes you are simply a witness to others receiving theirs, to adulthood, where your feelings towards Valentine’s Day have turned to boxes of chocolates and diamond tennis bracelets. This evolution in itself makes Valentine’s Day a holiday worth acknowledging.
I support Valentine’s Day, because I support the idea that everyone has someone to love — whether it be paternally, maternally, platonically, or romantically. V-day makes one day out of hundreds of other normal days into something warmer, something slightly more remarkable. It’s a value we all share, and it’s a value we all ought to celebrate.—Zoe Sedlak
Valentine’s Day is a waste of time
A few years ago, Family Day was created here in Ontario. It’s called Louis Riel Day in Manitoba. How cool is that? At least it counts as a statutory holiday here (unless you’re in school this year, and find yourself short-changed during Reading Week). The larger implications of not having a month, or even more than two weeks per year of vacation, are glaringly evident in the banality of celebrating a thing like Valentine’s Day.
Valentine’s Day — or V-day — falls under the umbrella of arbitrary fabric, corporate-driven mechanisms, and stupid design. If you’re Christian, then the last point might not apply to you, because you’re actually observing these dates out of faith. But wait. Didn’t we just witness the foolishness that was the political-correctness of Christmas? Hold up, I’ve already committed an infraction. I should have said Happy Holidays. Shouldn’t the same rules apply to V-day?
This isn’t about V-day. Phew, thank god.
This is about what it means to celebrate a holiday. Here in Canada, apparently, we need excuses to celebrate things. St. Patrick’s Day is an excuse to become a teenager again — as if you needed to remind yourself of how ignorant you were then. Mother’s Day is an excuse to try to mitigate the imbalance of gratitude (not in our favour) that has come from their putting up with your delinquency. I could go on, but you get it.
In Canada, every single holiday we celebrate pays homage to history as it is typically taught. What’s more is that we only have a few handfuls of days of the entire year that we can take rest, legally, unless you’re in school (and the work-rest trade-off doesn’t work in our favour, that’s for sure). Why? Well, that would be on account of our collective workaholism, and drive for more. So we’re taught to keep the machine going.
Enter the consumerist aspect of the argument. V-day is — sorry to break the bubble — yet another holiday bird come to dig its talons into our wallets. Every year, we can always count on these bump-the-economy days to keep it going. Break it down you say? New Year’s, V-day, St. Drunkard’s, and then the summer when it becomes the most trivial Drunk Again Day, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, a trivial homage to the British Monarchy, Day of Workers, Gratitude Day, and Presents Day. That’s what they sound like in my head, at least. These are days on which merchants, and the financial system at large, can count on an injection of your disposable income into the economy. In the end it’s all what the market will bear. But then, you are the market, aren’t you? You don’t really believe in invisible hands, do you? During the next recession we’ll have Brother-In-Law Day, Puppy Day, and my favourite — Snow Day. Imagine trying to be sold snow. See? Madness.
Is our society constructed in such a way that the only effective way, apparently, to show that we really care about one another is to celebrate an arbitrarily-allocated day? Just one day to give thanks or to celebrate love? Surely, that isn’t enough. Let me use the example of Mother’s Day. Am I to believe that there is only one day in the year that even comes close to showing the mothers of the world that they actually matter? I thought that this kind of narrow-minded rationale escaped with the dissolution of the term “household sciences.”
Nothing says “I love you” more than an obligatory gift. On the flip side, who doesn’t love receiving gifts? I love them too. But, have you always listened to society?
If you want to celebrate your love, do it on any day other than February 14. Any day will do. Do it because your eternal love cannot possibly fit into a container of 24 hours. Do it because you weren’t told to. Do it because you actually think about why you’re celebrating things. Then, at least you’d truly celebrate romance by going against the grain for your love.
One day in February isn’t special. Valentine’s Day is a waste of time.—Marco Adamovic
