Everyone knows Valentine’s Day is a scam. Amazingly though, unlike many holidays, history isn’t the problem here. Valentine’s Day was originally a commemoration of one of three different saints named Valentine, all of whom were martyred. One of these was famous for being executed for continuing to marry young Christians when the Roman Emperor forbade it. Another is said to have fallen in love while in jail awaiting his execution and to have signed a note to his lover, “From your Valentine.” Whether or not any of these legends are true, the celebration of Valentine’s Day has been associated with romance since at least the Middle Ages, and even the practice of sending Valentine’s cards dates back to the 19th century. While there is some speculation that in the fourth century Pope Gelasius I changed the date of celebration to coincide with an earlier and far less romantic pagan festival (which involved flaying a goat and animal sacrifice), Valentine’s Day can still claim a solid historical basis.
So, the problem with Valentine’s Day isn’t the history. The problem is that a day that is supposed to celebrate love and romance is one of the least romantic days in the year.
JENISE CHEN/THE VARSITY
It almost goes without saying that Valentine’s Day is a drag for the majority of people who aren’t currently coupled. Having a day, or even season, when love and romance is constantly forced down one’s throat tends to exacerbate any feelings of loneliness one might be inclined to have. If the romantically-entangled could carry on their romance at different times from one another, and without the assistance of the corporate world, those who are single would probably be happier, and might even be a bit more positive about romance in general.
Criticizing holidays for being too commercialized has become tired and routine. Still, it is worth remembering that many well-established holiday traditions have been created or exploited in order to make money. An estimated one billion Valentine’s Day cards are sent each year, and at several dollars a piece, this represents a massive market for Hallmark and the like. Not to mention the untold fortunes to be made in flowers, stuffed animals, romantic nights on the town, and those little cinnamon flavoured hearts. The problem being, of course, that spending money is now being substituted for being truly romantic or loving. While a thoughtful gift is a great way to show someone you care, most Valentine gifts aren’t thoughtful at all — they’re perfunctory, and there’s nothing romantic about that.
Moreover, the simple fact that this purported celebration of romance is one specific day renders it unromantic. Nothing is less romantic than scheduling, so why is there one specific day when everyone is expected to turn into a dashing Romeo or a blushing Juliet? Any romantic gesture made on Valentine’s Day is ten times less romantic because it’s not only expected but almost required. If you need a calendar to advise you to remind that special someone that you care, it might be time to rethink that relationship. Showing someone you love them should be something you do every day and grand romantic gestures really ought to be spontaneous. Thinking that exchanging some heart shaped chocolates wrapped in red tin foil on one particular day is a celebration of romance is just sad.
Another downside is that everyone’s romantic activities fall on the same day making it harder not to compare one another’s Valentine’s plans. This aspect, coupled with how people’s affection can be quantified as a number of roses, leads inevitably to competition. Competition among friends as to who makes or receives the grandest Valentine’s Day show, even if it’s only implicit, is destructive to both romance and the focus on your own relationship that should be integral to celebrating love.
Here’s what you should do instead. Love in a way that doesn’t bother those who are single. Allow your romance to be uncompetitive, inexpensive, and spontaneous. Finally, if you really must celebrate this Valentine’s Day, do so only with a goat sacrifice to the pagan wolf-god Lupercus.
