On December 13, 2013, Beyoncé dropped her self-titled album, along with an impromptu announcement on Instagram. My first reaction, like that of many members of the cult of Bey, was to panic, scream, cry, and nearly break my computer in my desperation to download the album.
After experiencing the entire spectrum of emotions while watching the flawless videos, memorizing the sample of Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s TED Talk, and singing “Pretty Hurts” through mascara-stained tears like the true pageant girl I never was, I began to actually process the lyrics I was belting out and realized that some of them were going right over my head.
In most cases, the sexual song lyrics we’re bombarded with in popular music make their references fairly obvious; however, in the case of some lyrics — from Beyoncé and other artists — it can be difficult to decipher exactly what the raunchy words mean in practical terms. Always eager to answer students’ questions, the friendly volunteers at the St. George campus’s Sexual Education Centre (SEC) were willing to attempt to dissect these lyrics to gauge their possible implications.
Beyoncé — “Drunk in Love”
“…I fill the tub up halfway then ride it with my surfboard.
Surfboard, surfboard,
Graining on that wood, graining, graining on that wood”
Jordan, Executive Director: That’s deep.
Ray, PR Coordinator: As a sexual health centre, we don’t recommend sex in water.
Jordan: The only other thing I can think of is that she’s masturbating with the bathtub tap… You’re really not supposed to have sex in a bathtub or any body of water because if you’re thrusting, you can get water up into the uterus. It’s very rare, but it does happen — and it’s seriously damaging. You shouldn’t have penis and vagina intercourse underwater…
Ray: P in the V sex in water is not the best because of thrusting water into the vaginal area.
Sarah, volunteer: Especially, like, in a pool.
Jordan: Because there’s chlorine. You don’t want chlorine in your vag.
Sarah: If you have P in V in a pool, or like a hot tub, that’s like a one-way ticket to a UTI.
Beyoncé — “Blow”
“Can you eat my skittles?
That’s the sweetest in the middle.
Pink, that’s the flavour,
Solve the riddle.”
Ray: Obviously, the clitoris. That’s a shitty riddle.
Jordan: Although we should point out you should not put skittles anywhere near your vag, ‘cause that’s a one-way ticket to a yeast infection.
Ray: No sugar near your vagina.
Jordan: I imagine the dyes on the skittles probably aren’t good for the pH level in there. We discourage candy in the vag.
Ray: I think that if you’re using any flavoured lubes … you shouldn’t really put them in your vagina. You could put them around it.
Jordan: You have to be careful. Some people are more sensitive than others.
Ray: We should mention too — flavoured condoms: they’re good for oral sex, but not for penetrative sex.
“I can’t wait ’til I get home so you can tear that cherry out,
Turn that cherry out, turn that cherry out.”
Sarah: Wow.
Jordan: Maybe she just likes it rough.
Ray: Nothing wrong with liking rough sex as long as everything’s consensual. You have a safe word.
Pitbull ft. Kesha — “Timber”
“Face down, booty up, timber,
That’s the way we like the what, timber
I’m slicker than an oil spill
She say she won’t, but I bet she will, timber
Swing your partner round and round,
End of the night it’s going down.”
Ray: I think we’ve collectively got a problem with the “says she won’t but I think she will.”
Jordan: That’s not good.
Sarah: Unless there’s some pre-agreed upon ”no” play…
Ray: But that’s the thing — we’re going to think of that, but general society is not going to be like: “Maybe it’s consensual non-consent!”
Justin Bieber — “Boyfriend”
“Tell me what you like, yeah, tell me what you don’t,
I could be your Buzz Lightyear, fly across the globe,
I don’t ever wanna fight yeah, you already know,
Im’a make you shine bright like you’re laying in the snow,
Burr.”
Ray: That doesn’t sound too sexual… The first little bit sounds like it starts out sexual, and it’s good, it’s like tell me what you like.
Jordan: We totally support this!
Ray: Communication is good.
Jordan: And Buzz Lightyear is awesome, so that’s good.
R. Kelly — “Etcetera”
“Let’s go to the IHOP babe,
No matter how the food may taste,
It’s your body I’m thinking of.”
The Varsity: I’m not even sure if this is sexual.
Jordan: I pulled from that that he’s going to eat pancakes and think about her naked.
Sarah: Sounds like a good date!
R. Kelly — “Sex Planet”
“Girl I promise this will be painless, painless
We’ll take a trip to planet Uranus”
Ray: Yeah, they’re talking the anal sex — the anal sex.
The Varsity: Is it true that it’s going to be painless?
Ray: Yeah, if you spend time warming up.
Jordan: If you do it properly —
Sarah: It sounds a little coercive.
Jordan: What he’s getting at is the, “don’t worry, it won’t hurt,” but that’s really not a good way to go about anal… The thing about anal sex is that if it hurts, you’re doing it wrong, which is just a general rule across the board. You should be taking the time to use lube, stretch with fingers, and engage in foreplay… going slow… You don’t just try to stick the penis in there.
Ray: It’s not going to work if you just try to stick the penis in there.
Jordan: If it hurts, you’re doing it wrong. You need to slow down.
The Varsity: So the goal should not just be that it’s painless, it should be that it’s pleasurable.
Jordan: No, it should be pleasurable, and if it’s not, it’s just not your thing.
Ray: For some, it may just never get to that point of comfort… oh, and lots of lube.
Jordan: More lube always!
Sarah: Lube is your best friend.
Jordan: Oh, but there is such thing as too much lube — or else you run into the enema problem.
Rihanna — “Birthday Cake”
“It’s not even my birthday
But he wanna lick the icing off
I know you want it in the worst way
Can’t wait to blow my candles out
He want that cake.”
Jordan: We once again do not support putting sugar anywhere on your genitals.
Sarah: I suppose icing is a euphemism for vaginal fluids that, if you’re aroused, would tend to be there. Icing, though…
The Varsity: It seems thicker than you would imagine.
Ray: I think it’s all about her vagina. It’s all about her.
Flo Rida — “Whistle”
“Show me your perfect pitch, you got it my banjo
Talented with your lips, like you blew out a candle.”
Jordan: I don’t think that one’s too metaphorical.
Sarah: It’s about blowing him.
Jordan: Although while we’re on that, we’ve had so much imagery of the blow jobs. Let’s fight for the cunnilingus. Where are those images? More vaginas!
The Wanted — “Glad You Came”
“Turn the lights out now
Now I’ll take you by the hand
Hand you another drink
Drink it if you can
Can you spend a little time,
Time is slipping away,
Away from us so stay,
Stay with me I can make,
Make you glad you came”
Jordan: We often talk about the fact that people can’t consent if they’re drunk but we know that drinking and sex happens on campus… Consent, we talk about it like it’s black and white because it’s easiest to get at it that way but it’s really not — and people are going to drink and have sex… It sounds like he’s trying to get her drunk to have sex.
Ray: Which is not a good way to have sex.
Jordan: Which is rape… We usually say that if it’s a partner that you’re well acquainted with, or a permanent partner, or someone that you know really well, doing some drinking and knowing each other means you can sort of consent because you do know each other’s bodies and limits. When you first meet someone, you really don’t, and it’s unlikely that they’re going to have a conversation right now about, you know, [for example] the fact that she has a thing about having her breasts touched, or you know. That’s really eliminating the consent possibilities here.
The SEC is located in Sussex Clubhouse on the sixth floor. Student volunteers are there Monday through Friday to answer questions and provide safe-sex supplies. Sexual Awareness Week runs from January 19–25. For full details and schedule, visit www.sex-ed.ca
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
