Every year, whenever October 31 rears its spooky head, I can’t help but reflect upon the Halloween that irrevocably changed all others that preceded it.
The year was 2001: Britney Spears hadn’t yet shaved her head, and handball was sweeping the schoolyards of the nation. I had recently grown obsessed with Grease and decided that, for Halloween, I would be Danny Zuko. I didn’t own a leather jacket, so I made do with what I had. I slicked back my hair, stuck a toothpick in my mouth, placed a comb in my hand, and decked myself out, head to toe, in denim.
As I, an anthropomorphic swatch of jean material, made my way around school on Halloween day, I came upon an older peer in a startlingly graphic skull mask. He stopped me in my tracks, placed his face a foot from mine (narrowly avoiding the toothpick), and squeezed a pump that sent blood flooding down the mask, giving himself a two-second chuckle and giving me five years worth of crippling anxiety, scaring me off of Halloween until the eighth grade.
Fortunately, my horror stories (and my obsession with jean jackets) ended in elementary school. For some, however, the imposing ghouls of Halloween followed them well into their time at the University of Toronto.
Corey van den Hoogenband
“Fashionably Late”
Halloween fell on a Wednesday when I was in first-year and living in residence. My out-of-town friends and I foolishly assumed that all of the crazy college dorm parties would take place on the weekend after the thirty-first. By virtue of living there, I learned that all the Halloween dorm parties happened the weekend prior, but my friends were still set to visit that upcoming weekend. What this amounted to was a drunk friend, let’s call him Peter, stumbling through the halls of my dorm on Friday, November 2, dressed as Spider-Man and mumbling, “let’s party.”
We lost track of Peter and spent a chunk of the evening tracking him down à la Scooby-Doo mysteries. The wall-crawler eventually got to bed safely, but I’ll never forget the hilarity that followed after asking students throughout the residence, “has anyone seen Spider-Man stumbling through here?”
Aleksandra Dolezal
“Cat Got Your Tongue?”
The only hilarious thing that ever happened to me on Halloween was during my first year at U of T. It was my first experience ever going to a club. Naturally, it was a Halloween-themed party. The first thing that happened as I walked in was some strange guy came up to me, licked my face, and then ran off in the other direction. He probably did this because I was dressed up as a cat. It was still a horrible experience.
Will Power
“What’s New, Pussycat?”
I was at The Newspaper’s kegger on Halloween night last year. The party itself was fun — cheesy music, disposable cameras, and a litter of chocolate coins. But while I was out having a smoke I noticed some guys from the party hanging out a little ways off. One of them “stealthily” stumbled over and I watched him come up to me. At first I thought he was trying to make a move — I wouldn’t have minded — but instead he slowly reached up and took the cat ears off my head (I really half-assed my costume) and then put them on, placing his finger over his mouth to signal I shouldn’t say anything. I obliged to his command as he smiled and stumbled away. They weren’t even my ears. To this day I have no idea why I let him take them.
Madison Prezioco
“Plot Twist”
The weather was getting colder, the midterms were getting harder, and I was getting sadder. School had got me down. It was the end of the week, and my night’s plans included wearing comfy sweats, Netflix binge watching, and unapologetically consuming large amounts of junk food — until tragedy struck. My heart sank as I slowly began to scroll through Instagram. It was Halloween. And I had forgotten. Who forgets Halloween? I’m 19-years-old for heaven’s sake! I got so caught up in my Netflix love affair that I was missing out on one of the greatest university party nights of the year. I had three options. One: get out of bed and go catch up with some friends. Two: post a solid insta to pretending like I was going out. Third: play sick. Needless to say: I played sick. No regrets.
U of T-themed Costumes
Has midterm season gotten in the way of your costume preparations? Are you yet to decide on something topical and clever to wear? Have no fear: these U of T-themed costumes are the perfect antidote to your Halloween habiliment hindrance!
Robarts Library
What You’ll Need
- Two cardboard boxes
- A pair of scissors
- A can of grey paint
- A jar of tears, harvested from 20 undergrads on the 11th floor
How to Do It: Take your cardboard boxes and cut them into brutalist shapes. Glue the pieces together into the figure of a giant turkey, using the harvested tears as adhesive. Slab on grey paint to sufficiently depress everyone who sees your indubitably accurate costume.
Hotdog Stand
What You’ll Need
- Four sheets of scrap metal
- A red and yellow tarp
- Assorted condiments
- Spare change
How to Do It: Connect the four sheets of metal around you in a box formation, and have a friend throw the tarp over your head. Sprinkle the condiments haphazardly around your costume, paying close attention to applying copious amounts of mustard to your face. Top it off by carrying around loose change, because for broke students, bills are a thing of the past.
UC Back Campus
What You’ll Need
- An old white t-shirt
- A hunk of muddy grass
- Ay patch of artificial turf
How to Do It: This controversial costume is bound to turn heads at the club. Smear one half of your t-shirt with the hunk of muddy grass, and tape the patch of artificial turf to the other half. This costume is really flexible; depending on what side of the issue you stand, you can add to the costume by saying lines such as “Preserve our green space!” or “It really isn’t so bad now!”
