Some might think that, as students at an established scholarly institution, we spend our spare time following appropriately cultured pursuits. Unfortunately, whatever time we spend not studying often ends up being devoted to refuelling ourselves with caffeine under the guise of social interaction.
As students on a budget, our idea of entertainment is likely whatever’s on Netflix accompanied by juice that’s been in the fridge for so long that we hope it has become alcoholic.
Should we accept this sad, juice-filled, binge-watching state of affairs? No — social activities that sound respectable enough to discuss with your grandparents are in fact possible, even on the tightest of budgets. Read on for economical spins on classy affairs and elegant rephrasings of time-wasting activities you probably do already.
The Budget Wine Tasting
Invite friends. Instruct each to bring a bottle of cheap wine. Spend an evening spouting words such as “nose” and “character,” or phrases like “the bouquet suggests notes of turpentine, while the body reveals hints of regret.” Swirl your wine in your wine glass (or water glass, mug, or solo cup) to bring out the wine’s flavours while maximizing pretentiousness. Bonus points for interspersing your comments with randomly chosen French words.
The Modest Afternoon Tea
Instead of a pricey latte, try a beverage that’s basically water but sounds like what fancy people drink. It is said that the origins of afternoon tea can be traced back to the mid-1800s, when the Duchess of Bedford had her servants sneak her some tea and snacks because she got hungry between meals. This admirable practice caught on amongst high society ladies and remains a classy way to spend an afternoon.
For a budget version, forgo the smoked salmon and clotted cream; simply serve tea with an assortment of finger sandwiches. Finger sandwiches can be filled with just about anything cheap: raw vegetables and margarine, or an assortment of old condiments… the possibilities are endless, as long as you cut the crusts off — what are you, a savage?
The Thrifty Poetry Slam
Forget paying cover at a cool coffee house or bar just to listen to people complain about their mundane lives; your life is mundane too! Next time you and your friends need to vent about your days, set your conversation to a subtle drum beat and snap your fingers instead of giving each other advice or support. You’ll immediately feel more in tune with your artistic side.
The Budget Wine and Cheese
Pro tip: if you pour box wine into a respectable jug, no one will be the wiser. For the slightly more affluent, step up your wine-tasting with a selection of inexpensive (read: fluorescent orange) cheeses. For extra panache, remove cheese slices from their individual wrappings before guests arrive. And remember: aerosol cheese sounds respectable if you call it “mousse.”
The Short, Free Film Festival
Watch YouTube videos. Call it a film festival. Grow a goatee. You just earned yourself some serious cultural capital.
The Half-Price Four-Course Meal
Saunter over to your favourite affordable restaurant in an even-numbered group. Order half as many appetizers and desserts as there are people and one different entrée each. Share the apps, switch mains halfway through the meal, then share dessert. You’ve just indulged in a leisurely, European-style, four-course meal for the price of two. For even more class and even less cash, don’t order anything for yourself, steal a bite of everyone’s entrée, and call it a “tasting menu.”
