Leaves are crunching underfoot, frost is bringing a joyous end to allergies, and moustache season is upon us. It is once again that uniquely uplifting and startling time of year when men everywhere start sprouting hair on their upper lip. Although releasing the facial hair kraken can be a symbol of male solidarity in the pursuit of raising awareness about men’s health issues, there is a right way to grow a moustache — and Brad Pitt in Inglorious Basterds is not it. 

1. Accept your limitations 

Not everyone can be Tom Selleck. In all likelihood, you’re not Tom Selleck. Realize that 30 days is not enough time for you to grow a glorious handlebar.

However, hanging inspirational photos of Tom Selleck — or your preferred moustache muse — is strongly encouraged.

2. Plan ahead

If your facial hair still creeps in like it did when you were 16 then you may want to give yourself a bit of extra time at the end of the month — donations are also accepted beyond November 30.  

3. Keep it clean

If you’re going to partake in Movember festivities, uphold the reputation of mobros everywhere and do it with class. The people sitting next to you in tutorial should be mesmerized by your insights into course material, not by the remnants of your lunch displayed on your upper lip.

4. Give people a heads-up 

You should probably tell your insignificant other about your plans as well. While you and your boyfriend may both be planning to mo’ together, a surprise ‘stache-attack for a girlfriend may lead to six of the most dreaded words known to man: You stop shaving, I stop shaving. 

5. Be confident 

During the early stages of growth, your budding facebroom will be a target for abuse. Face the snide remarks about caterpillars and your promising porn star career head-on and give your ’stache the support it needs. See Nick Offerman for a refresher on moustache pride. 

6. Stick with it

The four stages of Movember: hope, crushing sadness, anxiety, glory. You can’t get to glory without those first three weeks, so persevere past the itch — don’t be a second-week-shaver. 

7. Donate 

Movember is about more than an impressive display of lip-holstery; make a lasting difference by collecting and donating to your chosen men’s health cause.

8. Shave the date 

The last days of the month are the time to elevate your misplaced eyebrow to awe-inspiring lip plumage. Invest in a good razor to shape your masterpiece and proudly display your moustache at a gathering of your best bros.