The beginning of the school year is always new and exciting. Second years are embarking on the first year of their majors, many fourth years are entering their final semesters, and third years — well, they just have one more year left until their final year, so that’s something.

Yet, somewhere far outside the confines of Toronto, past Mississauga and Scarborough, the faint squeals of incoming first years can be heard. Frosh!

Welcome to U of T, class of 2022! Thank you for joining us. Disregard our dishevelled hair, deep eye bags, and pungent smell.

Your first year will become a collection of great — and some not so great — memories of exploring your massive campus, attempting to understand classroom locations, and realizing that apparently everything you learnt about writing in high school is useless.

To ensure that you survive your frosh year unscathed, I have compiled a list of my 10 top tips:

1. Acknowledge from the beginning that your frosh experience is primarily dependent on your college or faculty, and it may not be what you initially anticipated. Vic, have fun at your dry frosh. St. Mike’s, you are no longer the party college your parents went to, sorry to disappoint. UC, look forward to chilling in the Whitney courtyard. And Trin kids, well, what you’ve seen in college movies is a pretty good portrayal of the escapades you’ll have during your first year. Also, everyone’s going to hate you — #sorrynotsorry.

2. Make the most of frosh week. No matter how silly you might think the cheers are, scream them at the top of your lungs — I promise it’s fun!

3. Talk to as many people as possible. Everyone else is just as nervous and desperate to find their lifelong friends as you are.

4. Try everything in your café or dining hall. Not only will you discover exactly what the tastiest food is, but you will also quickly figure out what may give you food poisoning.

5. Lose your room key early on. Most people might think this is the opposite of good advice, but the shame I felt when the front desk lady rolled her eyes at me was so unbearable that from then on, I always knew where I left my key.

6. Give up on trying to remember the names of accomplished alumni. Just know that they’re pretty much all old white guys and Margaret Atwood.

7. Become friends with your residence dons! They are usually lovely, hilarious people, and they’re also great for emotional, social, and academic support.

8. Avoid Robarts at all costs. That looming turkey — it’s not a peacock — sucks the energy from everyone who enters. Why put yourself through that when there are 43 other libraries across the three campuses to explore?

9. Step outside of your comfort zone and get involved! U of T is huge and boasts clubs for everyone. It might take some effort to find a crochet club, but I assure you that you can find one that will support your interests. If not, then start one yourself!

10. Buy Muji pens! I didn’t know what Muji was until I moved to Toronto, but let me tell you, nothing is more orgasmic than gliding the tip of a Muji pen over a piece of paper. Nothing!

These are just some tips to help you survive your first year. Whether you follow them all or not, I hope your frosh year is everything you want it to be and more!

Oh, and one more thing. The most important tip of all — don’t wear nice shoes to frat parties, unless you want them to be destroyed.