1. “Rich with a Starbucks Gold Card”
Getting Starbucks before class is part of this gal’s daily regime. She never leaves the house without her makeup on fleek and a fire ’fit. She remains a loyal Gold member and you will never catch her drinking beverages that are not from the famous coffee brand. On her Instagram and/or Snapchat, you can expect to see lots of Tumblr-y pictures of her holding a Starbucks cup featuring her professionally-done nails.
2. “Poor but still has Starbucks Gold Card”
This type of coffee drinker shows up to Starbucks equipped with a backward baseball cap, sweatpants, and a raging hangover. Although they may not be rich, they’re nonetheless a Gold member — not because they are frequent buyers, but because they’re on top of those Star Dashes. In other words, you will only see them in line when there is a Double-Star Day or Happy Hour of some sort going on. Otherwise, they’ll usually go for the cheaper option.
3. “McDonald’s Coffee and Stickers Collector”
They are the most loyal customer of McDonald’s since the release of the $1 coffee. You will find them with an extra-large coffee almost every day — as long as the promotion still stands. In their wallet, you will also find a deck full of McCafé Rewards cards that collect stickers to redeem a free coffee after seven purchases. They wish that the $1 coffee would be offered all year long, because in their minds, McDonald’s is always the way to go for everything. Extra-large coffee and Junior Chicken? Who can say no?
4. “Blue Dragon’s Coffee After Working Out at AC”
Lululemon high-rise leggings, a short crop-top hoodie, and a high ponytail. You guessed it: she just finished a workout at the Athletic Centre and is now ready to cross the street to study at Robarts. Before she leaves, she grabs a coffee at the Blue Dragon café for a boost of energy. She’s hardcore. By hardcore, I mean she actually has abs.
5. “Keurig Kups”
This girl invested in a Keurig machine at the beginning of the school year and pre-makes all her coffees at home. She knows how to save money and will most likely meal prep all of her lunches and dinners. Every one of her friends think she is extremely well-adjusted and put-together and they go to her for advice, but in reality, she’s low-key a mess.
6. “Bubble Tea Squad”
No matter the occasion — whether it be a Robarts study session or a 6:00 pm lecture in Con Hall, you can expect to find them and their squad enjoying a bubble tea from either Chatime, Coco, or The Alley. It’s like they never get tired of bubble tea. Half of their Instagram stories are of them drinking bubble tea with friends or doing the bubble tea straw challenge.
7. “Loyal Canadian Timmies”
Starbucks, McDonald’s, Chatime — none of them hit the mark for this steadfast Canadian. This person is loyal to Tim Hortons, and they will either have a black or double-double to start off their day. Only Tim Hortons coffee satisfies their taste buds while still being gentle on their wallet. Whenever Roll Up the Rim is around the corner, they may increase their visits to twice a day. While everyone else complains that Roll Up the Rim gets progressively harder to win each year, you don’t really hear them rant. Why? Because they go to Tim Hortons everyday anyways; Roll Up the Rim is merely a bonus. Real Canadian, eh?
8. “S’well Water Bottle”
This is the healthy and fit girl who will drink gallons of water every day. She wakes up at 7:00 am to catch the sunrise and never misses breakfast before heading to lecture. Sometimes, she will make herself a smoothie in the morning to give herself an extra boost for the day. Oh, and if she has time she will either hit up the gym, meditate, or practice mindful yoga. Coffee? It’s bad for her anxiety.
9. “U of Tears”
Needless to say, this is the true representation of U of Tears. This person is always at the library drowning in school work. They will almost never agree to going out on a Friday night because they just have too many deadlines. Naturally, they have no time to make themselves coffee. In fact, they struggle with basic hydration.
10. “Midnight Red Bull”
This person has probably lost count of how many Red Bulls they’ve had over their four years at U of T. While some were already corrupted by all-nighters back in high school, most of them were not introduced to Red Bull until the Clubs Carnival during Orientation Week. Ever since, they’ve been solely dependent on it during midterm and final seasons. What is life without Red Bull? Can’t imagine it. They’ll probably fight you if you try taking their Red Bull away from them. Better not risk it — just let them fly away.