Attention bitter singles: some couples have managed to survive the fall breakup season and can unfortunately still be found walking around campus, arm in arm. So, here is your friendly guide on where the most notorious U of T couples frequent and where to go to avoid them! 

The Varsity Athlete power couple

This couple can be identified through their matching varsity backpacks and refusal to wear anything non-athletic. Even in below-freezing temperatures, their hoodies and sneakers seem to be capable of repelling both snow and rain, leaving them looking effortlessly gorgeous. 

Where to find them: This breed of couples tends to circle around the Goldring athletic centre or Varsity Stadium, so avoid sports this Valentine’s season and you should be absolutely fine. 

The depressed future doctors 

Anyone in life sci knows it is a loveless existence, yet some students have been able to find love even in the darkest places. This couple can be identified through their matching sweatpants and the dead look in their eyes. Their love language involves exchanging sweet sentiments via iPad notes. 

Where to find them: This couple is often on campus from dusk till dawn and can be located primarily in Gerstein Library and Robarts, but occasionally they can be spotted walking hazily over to the food trucks for a quick pick-me-up! 

The library lip-lockers 

It appears that the couches of Robarts have one function — romance — and this couple takes advantage of that. Whilst surrounded by sweaty, frantic U of T students, this couple blocks out the world to really enjoy each other’s company. They can be identified through their constant need to touch: when they are not locking lips, they are holding hands, canoodling, or laughing without a care in the world. 

Where to find them: Robarts couches! This Valentine’s Day, maybe avoid Robarts altogether? It’s already midterm season, there is no need to make it harder on yourself!

The TMU himbos 

If there is someone that looks far too cool to be at U of T — spoiler alert: they probably are! Do not fall for the trap this Valentine’s season. The Toronto Metropolitan University (TMU) himbo can be identified by their tattoos, effortlessly cool indie style, and zen aura. But be warned, singles: they have been claimed; if they are wandering around like a lost puppy, know there is a U of T mama bear looking for their cub. 

Where to find them: The TMU himbo can often be found lurking outside popular U of T buildings waiting for their significant other; they are often seen smoking, skateboarding, or accomplishing something artsy and cool. Do not approach! 

The Woody Allen enthusiasts

This couple would like to remind you that they are ‘not like other couples.’ This bisexual power couple is cool, trendy, and always dressed to the nines, with a look that says they will step on you if you get too close. They can be identified by their multitude of piercings, and style straight out of an indie magazine — but don’t worry, it’s all thrifted! 

Where to find them: Hart House is this couple’s stomping ground, so be sure to keep the words Shein and TEMU out of your mouths if studying here. 

The daddy’s money duo

Last but certainly not least, this couple is rich, and they want you to know it! They can often be seen in matching Louis Vuitton, with Apple watches on display and Starbucks cups in hand. But be warned: their refusal to walk single file may force late students onto the road if one wishes to overtake them. 

Where to find them: While this couple cannot be localized to one specific on-campus area, avoid Philosopher’s Walk en route to Yorkville. This couple loves to shop and dine out, and this Valentine’s Day, the gifts will be flowing. If you encounter this couple on Valentine’s Day, do not be surprised to spot them holding an extravagant bouquet or shopping bags from Tiffany’s! 

If seeking solitude this Valentine’s Day, there is only one area guaranteed to be couple-free: the Bahen Centre. Its fluorescent lights, lack of colour, and general sense of misery are the perfect antithesis of romance. While you’re there, remember to wave hello to other lonely singles! 

But mostly, remember to enjoy U of T’s one true love: midterms, which will provide a lot of late nights, intense quality time, and a few tears. But, hey, at least there’s chocolate!