So you think you’re tough. You work out, run for hours every day, and play hard, physical sports. The problem is, you think your goodfella doesn’t need any protection. Sure, it gets a workout—your girlfriend can probably attest to that—but when it comes to protection, you don’t worry about your groin. So if you ever take a low blow that makes your unborn offspring shudder, be prepared to suffer some serious pain.
When an injury strikes the groin, it generally affects the muscles that pull the legs together and support the pelvic region. These fan-like muscles, attached to the inside of the pelvis and the inner femur, help stabilize the penile region and both hip joints.
When the groin adductor, the muscle that pulls the legs together, is strained by a hyperextension or a sudden, unexpected force, it is quite common for severe pain to develop in the inner thigh and groin area. Severe tears can lead to penile tenderness and inflammation as the damaged muscles attempt to recover from their trauma. Whether the injury is due to a rough game of tackle football or a wild night of raunchy sex, a groin injury is not a pleasant experience. Common complaints include pain to the touch, stiffness in the affected area, and a restricted range of motion. No matter how you injure your groin, you won’t be doing a hell of a lot with it, despite how stiff you may be.
With the limited range of activities that can be performed, the best treatment plan is the R.I.C.E method: rest, ice, compression, and elevation. Rest will prevent excess tension and further damage to the affected area while icing and compression of the muscles will help to reduce swelling and redness. Depending on the severity of the injury and the level of inflammation, a low-intensity stretching routine will help to improve range of muscle motion and help the healing process. Remember, stretches should be gentle, thorough, and never forced.
If you need some motivation to protect your groin, just remember no one is impressed by inflammation in your nether regions. Water retention and a large, stinging red organ will keep her colder than an Afghan cave. The key to groin injury prevention is proper stretching and resistance training of the groin. Stretching improves the range of muscle motion while resistance training improves the muscle ability to deal with tension and applied force on the muscle. Don’t be ashamed to use those leg splitting machines that work regions only ladies care about. These machines work the hip adductor and abductor muscles and the groin to improve flexibility. You may feel humiliated spreading your legs in a packed gym, but injury prevention is not meant to be fun and easy. No matter what you do to keep your groin fit, your soldier-in-waiting is your ally for life, and if he is annexed by a foreign power, your state of affairs will never be the same.
