Fathers at U of T may be pleased to know that there is a group dedicated to them on campus, a place that they can share their experiences and get some advice from other parents. “There is no training for fatherhood in our society,” says the group’s founder Nouman Ashraf, “and we are trying to provide that.”
The father’s group meets once a month in a conference room at the Koffler Student Centre. Activities vary and can include lunch, thematic discussions or guest speakers. The point of the group is for the men to share their stories and ideas about fathering.
Ashraf wants to stress that the group is a neutral, non-judgmental and non-binding environment where all are welcome. The fathers that attend are faculty members, staff and full or part-time students. Some fathers-to-be also come to learn about the experiences that fathering will have in store for them and to gain insight into the challenges that they will face.
Belonging to the U of T community and being fathers gives the attendees a common ground to meet the sometimes overwhelming challenges of fatherhood. “There is that common thread of how do you balance it all and how do you find the time for it all with parenting regardless of whether we are faculty, staff or students.”
The rewards of the group are many. Ashraf comments that some of the fathers have been coming to meetings since it began and he has been hearing about these children as they have grown. “We feel that we know each others families.” As fathers return to the group and share their stories, they get to see the results of the work that they do. “It’s so gratifying to find out that my experience is shared and that your advice meant something,” said Ashraf.
The group is Ashraf’s own baby, so to speak, one that he started while working at the family care office because it was some thing that he had always been interested in doing. He himself is the father of three daughters.
Ashraf looks forward to greeting new members. “I would want people to feel comfortable and not judged.” The group’s next meeting is Thursday Feb. 19 between noon and one at the office of student affairs.
