The largest university in Canada can get a little lonely sometimes. Luckily, a bevy of attractive undergrads are at your disposal, if you know where to work it. Read on and discover The Varsity’s strategy to meeting the man / woman / pre-law specialist of your dreams, with a full arsenal of U of T -centric tips/tricks. Love is in the air!
So you wanna meet…
A bespeckled, coffee addicted hipster / philosophy major (THE JCr)
Pickup line: “Is Baudrillard really dead?”
Try: Buying a medium mild coffee and aggressively turning the pages of your copy of Susan Sontag’s The Benefactor.
Outfit: Oversized Woody Allen- style specs, faded con’s and a t- shirt your mother would probably hate.
A politics-obsessed, old money social-climber (Munk Center)
Pickup line: “Who do you think’s more likely to lose – Hilary or Obama?”
Try: Complimenting their designer cologne and discussing the national GNP.
Outfit: Ralph Lauren meets an even larger trust fund. Popped collars a must.
A winsome romantic with a yen for T.S .Elliot and Emily Bronte stanzas (OlD vIC)
Pickup line: “I’ll be your Heathcliff if you’ll be my Catherine”
Try: Introspectively tussling your curly locks while sighing at the old oak that shades your view.
Outfit: Think 17th-century troubadour with better body odor. Flowing sleeves, corduroy bells and braids.
Sonheim lovin’, Brecht-readin’ theatre students (frEE TEA, Helena Gardiner Playhouse)
Pickup line: Just sing the first act of The Threepenny Opera. They’ll get the message.
Try: Enacting that movement sequence that really affected your personal growth as a visual being. Or something.
Outfit: Black, free fl owing clothes make it easier to channel your inner voice. Don’t forget the beret!
Jacked dudes/dudettes (The Athletic Center Weight Room)
Pickup line: “Anyone want a hit of protein powder?” Try: Working your quads, shooting a flirty look and turning up your workout mix on your iPod nano. Do 5 sets of reps, then repeat on the left side.
Outfit: lululemon’s finest micro-fibered, electric pantsuit. Or a pair of old high school gym shorts and a t-shirt you won at a frat party’s BBQ.
Newspaper staffers (The Varsity Office)
Pickup line: “You know, there’s a misplaced semi-colon in the lead of that news feature.”
Try: Formatting the name of a quotable source in CP formatting. You had us at “em-dash”.
Outfit: Oh, any old thing will do. We’re desperate.