As I was sitting here thinking about how to start this article, reminiscing about all the relationships, hookups, dates, and quasi-dates that I’ve had, New Order’s “Leave Me Alone” started playing on my iPod. “Oh boy,” you must be thinking, “New Order? This is definitely another article about how much love sucks.” Well, you’re wrong—I just really like New Order. Sure, I’ll tell you about some of my biggest dating failures, but I’m also going to tell you about why I think dating doesn’t suck.
Let me tell you right now: I am quite possibly the most clueless person in the universe when it comes to affairs of the heart. My first girlfriend was also my first kiss, and hers were the first boobs I ever saw that weren’t on the Internet or on my mom’s chest. None of my relationships have lasted more than three months, and I still get confused as to whether an outing with a girl is a date or just a friendly jaunt.
I only really started going on dates once I came to Canada. See, I grew up in Brazil, where dating isn’t really something people do. Instead, people meet at parties, make out, and then agree to make out again later. I’m not joking. This was how relationships were formed one hundred per cent of the time. I couldn’t stand it! It also didn’t help that I was “cursed” by some old ladies outside a public market when I refused to give them money. I’m not joking about that either; they cursed me with a life of bad luck in love. That’s no way to start your teenage years.
Since I was so far behind the curve when it came to dating (most people had several years of awkward experience under their belts already), I had to play catch-up. This meant a lot of awkward conversations, and even more awkward silences during my dates. Once, I went out with a girl who actually thought I was someone else the entire time. She kept calling me Steve, which I thought was some weird pet name. Thinking back on it now, the whole thing must have been quite sad to watch.
In many ways, dates are intrinsically awkward. You’re supposed to go out with someone you barely know, get to know who they really are, get them to be attracted to you, and somehow make them comfortable enough with you that they’d be okay with kissing you. That’s a pretty tall order. Maybe that’s why most dates don’t go that well—most people can’t fill all of those requirements within the allotted time.
That’s probably also why dates can be very frustrating. All too often, I go out with a girl, find out that we have pretty good chemistry, but don’t have enough time (or courage) to make a move and seal the deal.
Heck, sometimes I don’t even get as far as the date, which is quite possibly the most frustrating part of it. During the summer, I would visit this general store almost every day, and sometimes I noticed a cute girl working behind the counter. I spoke to her a couple of times and we seemed to hit it off. Eventually, I asked for her number, and we texted back and forth for a bit. At one point she stopped answering, and so I stopped trying. Now, every time I go to that general store, I’m afraid of running into her. It’s really awkward for both of us. If you’re reading this, general store girl, I’m sorry things have turned out so awkwardly! I hope we can be friends.
But you know what? I don’t regret asking her out. It was fun. And that’s why dating is great. I find the whole dating process really entertaining: becoming interested in someone, asking them out, and then meeting up with them and taking it from there. You get to meet new people, and at the very least make some new friends. Plus, the whole physical part is pretty great, too.
“But Tom,” you might say, “surely you don’t find the awkward moments and let downs fun too?” Well, see, here’s the thing. Even though those can be quite painful, they’re definitely useful. Every time I share an awkward moment with someone or have an awful ending to a date, I learn something new about dating. And it’s these experiences that ultimately lead to great dates. And letdowns.
If you go into dates looking for fun and experience (and not bumping uglies or the like), I can guarantee you’ll have a good time. If you don’t, then I have a few New Order CDs I could probably lend you.
