A man in a white-collared shirt and tie rises from the driver’s seat of a Winnebago. He is tall and imposing, with a thick moustache and deep newsreader’s voice. He walks through the Winnebago’s living room set, faces the camera, and addresses the audience.
“The Winnebago engineering departments have developed a multifunctional bathroom, privacy I don’t even know what the fuck I’m reading.”
Cut to the man with his head in his hands, crouching next to the Winnebago’s baggage compartment. “I wonder what the FUCK the real dialogue is?!”
Cut to the man walking away from the Winnebago, his hands in the air. “I don’t even know what the FUCK I’m SAYING!”
Cut to the man in the driver’s seat, talking to an assistant. “Tony, will you do me a favour, please? Will you do me a kindness? […] Don’t slam the fuckin’ door!”
Cut to a long shot of the Winnebago. “Get out of here, you fuckin’ flies!”
Cut to the man in the driver’s seat. “Fuck!”
Cut to the man next to the Winnebago. “Fuck!”
Cut to the man next to the baggage compartment. “Oh, FUCK!”
Cut to a close-up of the man inside the Winnebago, looking at the ground. “Fuck. It’s not even funny anymore.”
“Tonight’s lineup features promotional videos, public access videos, home movies, instructional videos, and just a bunch of other videos that can only be described as crap-tastic.”
Tonight at the Found Footage Festival, a traveling show of unearthed “so-bad-they’re-good” VHS oddities, Joe Pickett and Nick Prueher are introducing one of their best finds.
“This one came from right here in Minnesota,” says Prueher. “This is from a local crewmember who was working down in Iowa on a promotional shoot for the Winnebago brand of RVs.” Much applause.
“On the first day of the shoot, the crew realized that the host of this video had a bit of a temper, and they decided to let the camera roll between tapes and subsequently captured this man’s many angry tirades. We’ve edited the best of those moments together into a segment we call ‘Jack Rebney — the World’s Angriest RV Salesman.’”
The tape plays, to the usual reaction. “Well, that settles it,” says Pickett. “He’s batshit insane.”
“Oh yeah, no doubt about it.”
“It’s funny, tomorrow I’m doing an interview with… okay, have you ever seen this clip on YouTube where it’s, like, bloopers from a Winnebago corporate infomercial, and the host keeps getting really angry and swearing a lot?”
“Oh yeah, I’ve seen that. You’re interviewing that guy?”
“Yeah. I can’t believe it. There are some offers you just can’t turn down, y’know?”
“That’s really random.”
“Well, he’s the subject of a documentary that’s coming out, where a director tracks him down and finds out about his life, and what he’s been doing since.”
“Huh. So, what’s he like?”
“He’s turned into kind of an old hermit, but what’s amazing is, it turns out in real life he’s exactly like he is in the video. He’s always swearing, and since that video was twenty years ago, now he’s become an ornery old man.”
“Well, I hope he gets mad at you and walks out.”
“I kinda hope so too. He smack-talks Dick Cheney a lot. I feel like I won’t be getting the full experience unless he calls me a fucking jackass, or something.”
An obese teenager holds a golf ball retriever. He twirls it through the air, dodging and killing imaginary enemies. He punctuates the action with his own sound effects — “Pa-pa-pa-pow! Chew cheeeyeeuw!” When he spins around, he sometimes raises a leg to keep from falling. This is the Star Wars Kid. He is a YouTube phenomenon.
Look at his face. He’s into it. In his mind, he’s a Jedi. I know better. Stephen Colbert, Michael Cera, Family Guy, South Park, and everyone else who has spoofed it know better. We all know he’s just a fat kid with a golf ball retriever. We know he’s delusional.
From Winnebago Man, the new documentary about Jack Rebney, I learn that the clip was posted online by a fellow student, and it spread quickly around the school, then the world. The Star Wars Kid was so traumatized by the experience that he had to undergo psychiatric treatment. He could no longer walk through the hallways at school. I don’t like hearing this. Then I go home and watch the video again.
“Jack, my first question isn’t specifically related to the film, but in the film you talk a lot about your political views, particularly how angry you are at Dick Cheney, and I was curious about your thoughts on the current political landscape.”
“Uh… I’ll try to be as succinct as possible,” says Jack Rebney on the other end of the phone line.
“Now, remember we only have fifteen minutes,” says Ben Steinbauer, the director of Winnebago Man.
“Shut up, Ben. Obama has inherited not just eight, but about forty years of a misappropriation of an American dream that has become so disastrous as to be incurable. We — that is to say, the United States — we are a comatose nation. We are within a hair’s breadth of a total collapse, and the archetypal fat-bellied, hamburger-eating American doesn’t have any idea how bad it is. We’re 15, 17 trillion dollars in debt. We have a Federal Reserve policy that is madness — total, absolute insanity — and has been for decades. And this guy, who’s a very bright guy — anticipation of his coming in was that he could wave some type of magic wand because he graduated first in his class at Harvard Law School. Bullshit! His credentials are exclusively that he grew up in one of the worst hit and bang and crash political systems in the United States, and that’s Chicago. That’s his credential. What he doesn’t clearly understand, and his advisers clearly didn’t understand, was that it wasn’t a matter of healthcare for the American public, it was a matter of jobs. And apparently they just simply forgot about that […] Well, it was a bloody horrible, stupid mistake, and they blew a year and a half, and they’ll pay for it at these coming elections. And, uh… [laughs] that’s my reaction.”
“Before Star Search,” says Nick Prueher, “and long before American Idol, there was a show on Manhattan public access called Stairway to Stardom […] and each week they would welcome a variety of singers, dancers, actresses… there are some bad comedians in there…”
“It’s kinda like The Gong Show, but without the gonging part,” says Pickett.
“That’s right, that’s a good way to describe it, and I think it’s no exaggeration to say that Stairway to Stardom was one of the most entertaining shows in the history of television. Easily.”
The theme song plays: “On Stairway to Staaaardom… you’ll see tomorrow’s stars today! On Stairway to Staaaardom… we’re here to brighten up your day!” The clips play. Terrible singers. Terrible dancers. Terrible actresses. A comedian who laughs at his own jokes. Pure failure.
“Stairway to Stardom! Say what you will, they gave it their all,” says Pickett. “And of course, they all went on to become stars.”
Wake up. Get up. Shave, shower, get dressed. I need new clothes. Need to look sharper. Should I stay home? No, gotta get moving. There’s a world out there to conquer.
Leave my home, enter the marketplace. What do I have to offer? I am smart, and funny, and talented, and interesting. I am a good person. In return, I want attention, and respect, and success, and love, and sex, and happiness. I deserve these things. I believe I deserve these things. I have to believe. I am still young, and fulfillment is coming. I just have to keep going.
Shouldn’t I be more successful by now? Shouldn’t I be an up-and-comer? Why aren’t I being noticed? No, can’t think like that. Notice is coming, just keep going. Job won’t hire me. Girl won’t date me. Why wasn’t I invited to that party? Never mind. It’s their loss. I have to believe it’s their loss. I have to keep going.
God, why did I used to wear my hair like that? Didn’t I have a mirror? God… well, I know better now.
God, some of the things I used to believe. How could I have thought that way? Well, I know better now. God, what was I thinking with that girl last year? Maybe I was delusional. Yes, I was delusional. Why didn’t someone tell me? Maybe I’m still delusional. No, can’t think like that. I’m not delusional. Fulfillment is coming. I have to keep going.
THE VARSITY: “If I can talk briefly about the Winnebago commercial, Ben mentions in the narration that he sympathizes with you, because you worked at CBS, were a very serious journalist, and by this juncture in your career you were, y’know, doing a Winnebago commercial, and that seems like… y’know, anger fuel? I was wondering if you agree with that perspective.”
JACK REBNEY: “No.”
TV: “Okay. By the way, Ben, am I being accurate? I don’t want to put words in your mouth.”
BEN STEINBAUER: “Um…yes, in the voiceover I say I’m viewing the images differently, and that Jack is a serious journalist, and he was stuck in this horrible shoot in Iowa.”
JR: “Well that, yes, all of that is true, and the issue from my perspective clearly, then would be — yes, you learn your trade, you learn your business, and if you learn it under the gun, as I did as a youngster in the early ‘50s, you’d better do it correctly or you’re gone. That’s all there was to it. There was never a second chance; nobody ever said, ‘Well, you’ll learn, little fella! You’ll learn, and don’t worry about it.’ You’re reaching 35 million people, and you’re not going to bloody well make a mistake on anybody’s time. And that stuck with me always, all during my life.
“So it didn’t, but the critical element here is that it didn’t make any difference if I happened to be writing or producing or directing or whatever it might be for a network, or a local station, or for Winnebago. I’ve always been driven by the idea that if somebody hires me, if somebody comes to me and says, ‘Will you do this for me? Will you fix our news department? Will you fix this commercial for me? Will you do whatever it may be?’ I’m gonna bust my ass to do that absolutely as well as I can. And if somebody stands in the way, I’m gonna knock ‘em down. ‘Get out!’ Period. End of report. That’s always been my modus operandi, because I always felt there was a certain dignity to what you are doing, whether it was a little tiny hamburger commercial, or the Winnebago shoot, or you were reaching a CBS audience.”
“Alright, well Jack, let’s just jump off the phone then, I think he wants to continue with questions for me for about ten minutes, and then I’ll call you back a little bit later. Is that alright?”
“There’s no need to call me back, Ben. I don’t need to talk to you.”
“[Laughs] Hey, come on now — now you’re just showing off.”
Jack Rebney and Ben Steinbauer will introduce a screening of Winnebago Man at TIFF Bell Lightbox on October 28.
