Valentine’s Day is upon us, and out of concern for my fellow students, I wanted to share some valuable knowledge. I decided to turn to that paragon of expertise, the U of T subreddit, to see what other students were deeming as our campus’ most romantic venues.

“Hoping you guys can tell me of some interesting date ideas and places to take a girl around campus,” posted one account about three months ago. They received a number of suggestions, ranging from restaurants and bars to activities and romantic locations on campus itself.

Some restaurants in the area mentioned by r/uoft included Thai Basil, Famoso’s, El Trompo, and Fresh. Activity-based venues were also suggested, like board game cafés such as Snakes & Lattes or Tilt, the arcade-themed bar on Brunswick Avenue. Users also mentioned that students have free admission to the Royal Ontario Museum on Tuesdays and to the Art Gallery of Ontario on Wednesdays from 6:00–9:00 pm.

Those willing to brave the cold might want to check out Philosopher’s Walk or U of T’s various quads, including those at University College, Trinity College, or Knox College. For those willing to travel a little further from campus, there were several areas mentioned as worthy of exploration on a date, like Kensington Market or the Distillery District.

Other students had more cynical responses to this query. “There is no dating at U of T, there is only pain,” wrote one user.

“There’s a pretty titillating 137 lecture with Alfonso three times a week,” wrote another, likely referring to Professor Alfonso Gracia-Saz’s calculus lectures, which take place on Monday, Wednesday and Friday mornings from either 9:00–10:00 or 10:00–11:00.

Other users were more concerned about venues where they would be able to screen their potential dates. In response to a year-old query from one user, someone suggested Future Bistro. “I have started a ton of downtown dates at Futures; it is an excellent way to ‘make sure they aren’t a serial killer’ place.”

When they posted on r/uoft eight months ago, one user hadn’t quite made it to the ‘in a relationship’ phase, stating that they were an engineering student and had observed that there seemed to be more female students in arts programs.

“Is the dating scene such that you go up to a girl and ask for their number and text for a bit, then go on a date?” they asked. “Is it more complicated and do you have to try harder when it comes to UofT girls?”

“It’s common knowledge that UofT girls are vastly different from other girls,” wrote another user. “I’ve heard there’s some molecular biology research going on… the general consensus among the scientific community is that girls that go to UofT may share a different common ancestor than other ‘normie’ girls and could possibly even be, dare I say, inhuman.”

There’s no shortage of locations around U of T to take your significant other. The hardest part will probably be finding the significant other. I shudder to think of the state of Tinder during midterm season — but readers, go forth and prosper. I’ll save the ‘where to have sex on campus’ posts for another article.