Professors and lit. buffs beware: the following comparison may shock and disturb.

In the 1600s, one went to a Shakespeare play with certain expectations.

If it was a tragedy, everyone was gonna die—there was no other alternative. In a comedy, everyone was going to marry happily, except the villain, who would be punished.

Not much has changed in the last four hundred years. Like any good Shakespeare play, the plot of a teen comedy flick must work itself out to a logical, moral and aesthetic end.

The only difference is that in the 1600s everyone got married, and in 2002 everyone gets laid. A sign of the times.

This movie was funny, but so were both American Pie movies, 100 Girls, 40 Days and 40 Nights, Can’t Hardly Wait, Road Trip…need I go on?

They all have the exact same plot. It’s only a matter of finding new and more embarrassing ways to catch the nerdy guy jerkin’ off, or to see the cool guy being touched in a bad way by one of his friends. And like its predecessors, this movie has brought us to the next level in vulgarity.

Just when you thought there could be nothing cruder than Jason Biggs fucking a pie, Barry Watson (Matt of 7th Heaven) and Michael Rosenbaum give you a hilariously choreographed cock fight of sorts, while Harland Williams makes fun of fat girls, giants and French chicks.

And despite the offensive nature of all the comedy in this movie, the characters manage to absolve themselves (like so many pie-fucking teen males before them) by learning a moral lesson. Not only that nerds are people too (we’ve all got that one down by now), but also that women should be treated with respect.

The moral, of course, is terribly distorted by the preceding shower scenes and the general stupidity of the DOG sorority girls, who actually mistake the three men for women, but in this movie it’s just that kind of total lack of thought that counts.

It won’t be winning any Academy Awards, but they don’t mean shit anyway. You want nudity, crude comedy, beautiful people and a happy ending? Go see Sorority Boys.

Unless you want all those things, and feigned intelligence with an air of dignity. Then you should skip the movie and read A Midsummer’s Night Dream.

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