Someone over at the Liberal Party of Canada has been watching a lot of Canadian Idol. The Liberal Leadership Convention, held Nov. 28 through Dec. 2 at Montreal’s Palais des Congrés to select a new party leader-and a hopeful PM-was a condensed celebrity hunt with all the stock reality TV archetypes.
The days leading up to Dion’s coronation all had the same high-volume, high-intensity, emotion-drenched charge as the final vote. That meant the final 48 hours (when voting was taking place) were filled with a buzz of camps chanting their way through hallways, up escalators, into lobbies and across nerves.
The event was a windfall for the makers of Thunderstix-those inflatable tubes you slap together to burst your opponents’ eardrums. While the ‘stix were the Libs’ main artillery, some camps took up additional arms: the Kennedy kids opted for tambourines; Ken Dryden (a hockey hero also-ran) brought the inevitable air horn. He spiced it up with a creepy pair of slappy-hands on a plastic handle.
The clear winner in the noisemaker department was Martha Hall Findlay. If her delegates ever got lost in the deep woods of BC, the splintering screech of their Fox 40 whistles would guarantee a St. Bernard or two.
They circled for the next couple of days. There were chants: “Oh Rae Oh Rae…Oh Rae Oh Rae,” went one soccer hooligan themed ditty. It would be countered with a fog horn-inspired “Deeee-Yawn.” “We want Michael!” could be heard from another section of Ignatieff supporters who would also work in “Iggy, Iggy, Iggy.” The Kennedians came up with “GK, GK, GK.” Ah, yes, his initials. Good one.
The first vote went as polls predicted. Iggy took the top spot, with Rae second. Dion led Kennedy by only two votes. So, to give the 5,000 delegates something to more to yell about, on came the speeches.
Findlay was there to plant a seed for the future-hers, as a top Liberal. She talked about her pride in the party and what a great thing it was to drive around the country in her RV.
Brison, who for most of the race stood closest to Conservative politics, spoke on the environment-a subject he had little to add to. It was weird and boring.
The third speaker was Joe Volpe. It was a surprise to see him up there at all, as rumours had already spread he was going to Rae. One of only two long-time Liberals running, he gave a nap-worthy career rundown.
Ex-Hab goalie Dryden ended the speeches of the no-chance-in-hell candidates with a painfully hockey-heavy harangue. He started off with a video of the Canada-Russia series and never stopped making hockey jokes. He compared the delegates to a Montreal Canadiens crowd. His supporters, many of them wearing hockey sweaters and holding sticks, tooted their air horns.
Ex-enviro minister Dion was the first of the top four to speak. Dion apparently used to bike to Parliament Hill wearing a green backpack, like a little turtle. His speech reflected his interest in the environment and he spoke about adding a third pillar to the already established pillars of liberalism in Canada.
“We are the party that brought the first two pillars: economic prosperity and social justice,” remarked Dion, adding, “It is time now to add the third pillar of environmental sustainability.” While Dion got booted for going over his allotted speech time, he spoke reasonably well and had plenty of young people cheering his green talk.
Justin Trudeau took the stage to introduce Gerard Kennedy, and should have stayed there. He was the more convincing speaker. Kennedy threw in a lot of renewal talk and anti-Harper lines. It was uninspiring and blended with the speeches of the bottom-four candidates.
The final speeches were reserved for Rae and Ignatieff-both former Varsity editors and university profs.
Rae hit the stage and took everyone to school. He ditched the podium and went off-the-cuff. What he pulled off, which none of the others could, was conversation. He spoke to the convention, not the cameras-addressing the Liberals, not the ratings. It was at times self-deprecating, but genuine. Not one of the other candidates there could touch him. This should have won over those wanting to actually challenge Stephen Harper.
When Iggy spoke, he did so at about half the speed of the others. In a sermon-like approach, it felt like Emperor Palpatine was up there. Hey, it’s a convention.
This wrapped up the day, but not before Volpe and Brison dropped out and joined Rae. Findlay, who had been leaning to Rae initially, eventually moved to Dion.
As for everyone else, they moved to hotel rooms to get ready for the evening grind. Buddha Bar was the scene of much merriment. Bob Rae lubed the event with a little drink-ticket action and evening alliances were forged while dinners were deposited in Montreal gutters.
The next morning, attractive young delegates reflected on some Liberal’s specific interpretation of party renewal.
“It’s a meat market,” explained Mel Wright from Toronto, adding, “I was wearing a turtleneck and wondering ‘Is this shirt see-through?’ I am invisible in the bars of Toronto.”
Apparently age wasn’t a factor either. “I have 50-year-olds that actually think they can lure us to the dance floor,” said Wright of the previous night’s festivities. She admitted this wasn’t why people came to the Conference, but acknowledged it was a perk.
“They’re a bunch of political science geeks and they’ve found their niche,” added Liza McWilliams, an Ignatieff supporter sitting near Wright.
Back in the main room of the convention, the geeks were drunk with excitement. After Dryden was eliminated and moved to Rae, Kennedy played kingmaker and gave his people to Dion.
Some of his crew weren’t happy. Organizer Chris Ethier shrugged when asked if he’s happy about voting for Dion. Delegate Cindy Fournier looked pissed. “Dion is my second choice by a far distance.”
Still, they went obediently to Dion. Rae was eliminated and his team looked crushed. They had gained so much momentum from picking up old candidates. It took no time, however, for Iggy and Dion people to waltz into the funeral attempting to romance the grieving Rae delegates.
The wait for the final ballot was painful. Feet hurt, muscles ached and the DJ was abusing the bass. Still, hours went by until finally, after a slow buildup of anticipation, Dion won and took the stage. Like any gracious victor, he called the other candidates up and told them they were all together now.
While there was no Ben Mulroney, there was a Justin Trudeau-really, far better ex-PM progeny anyway. It played perfectly on TV, but the party must now face the twisted reality of Parliament and prove their underdog can take on a slick Stephen Harper.
