There are so many ways to be a victim these days. We’re inundated with people’s stories of injustices committed against them, from petty crime to war and terrorism to the worldwide scourge of poverty. These tales demand our attention, our time, and our concern-most of them rightfully.

Justin Trottier says he’s a victim, too. He insists we should feel indignant over his story of woe. But should we?

A few days ago, Trottier, head of secular advocacy group the Freethought Association of Canada, sent a press release to the media claiming he was assaulted by two men who took offense to posters he was putting up around Ryerson’s campus reading “God: The Failed Hypothesis” in large print (see our cover story). The two men believed in God, and he did not; this, for Trottier, makes his alleged assailant’s head-butt to the bridge of the nose more than the fruit of too much bravado, too late at night. For Trottier, this fact elevates the mundane to the status of hate crime.

But is what happened to Trottier really on par with the desecration of Jewish cemeteries with spray-painted swastikas, or with burning a mosque? Local police are so far treating the incident as a plain old assault. On this count, The Varsity is inclined to agree.

Disclosure: Trottier spent some time as an employee of The Varsity a couple of years ago, writing regularly for our Science section. Reading about an ex-contributor’s adventures after they’ve graduated always makes for riveting gossip around the newsroom-kind of like hearing about a long-lost cousin’s adventures as a line cook in Oshawa or as a housewife in Boston. When one graduates from news reporter to news-maker, it’s an event, to say the least.

Unfortunately, Trottier is using his media savvy to weave a suspicious tale. As a “secular advocate” seeking the same protection and rights accorded to religious beliefs, he very much wants to have his cake and eat it, too.

To be a victim in the media is a desirable prize. But in order to really be a martyr, Justin, you have to have a religion first. In our interview with him, he did call the principles of atheism “beliefs.” But that either means the “justified true belief” of knowledge, or it means religious faith, and only one of those is protected under the laws against hate crime.

Trottier’s cry of hate crime disguises what was most likely someone’s predictable response to a few too-clever remarks, and The Varsity (a haven for smartasses) certainly feels for Trottier’s hurt pride. But we’ll give him a word or two of advice: if you’re going to crack wise to just anybody on the street in the dead of night, start working on your left hook, and leave the Charter defense to the real victims.