Bitter limericks by stressed students

College politics

There once was a student named Gene,

who thought she knew the college scene,

but she was shut out of decisions,

and subject to extensive derisions,

and she became lazy, apathetic, and mean.

A typical professor

There once was a prof named Dennis,

who indulged in way too much Guinness,

drowning his sorrows away,

and constantly rueing the day

when he had to lecture at Innis.

The bloated ego

There once was a man from Trinity,

Who thought he was a real divinity,

But the salt of the earth,

Widened his girth,

Stretching his pants to infinity.

A short history of UC

There once was a man named Paul,

Who helped to build UC, big and tall,

And he stole Reznikoff’s wife,

Stabbing him with a knife,

But Diabolos’ serves better coffee overall.

Berd call

There once was a girl named Berd

Who felt like she wasn’t being heard,

So she snapped photos all day,

To keep the blues at bay,

And now her sanity is all but assured.

Truth

At U of T, we’re meant to inspire,

But there’s not that much to admire.

Just half-crazed students at work,

Stressed and going berserk,

That no one is going to hire.

Without tenure

There once was a prof named Tom,

Who liked to nag more than his mom,

He became his students’ bane,

Driving each one of them insane,

And now he serves food at the ROM.