This time of year I always try — and fail — to swallow my annual monologue about the ridiculousness of daylight saving time. The sun setting later and the general dreariness of winter has always disturbed me, and as I’ve grown older, the winter blues has only grown harder to ignore.
Despite this hatred for ‘springing forward’ and ‘falling back,’ I know in my heart that, even if it was abolished, this would only mean that the sun would start setting at 5:00 pm instead of 4:00 pm. Sadly, this small jump in time would do little to cure the weird dark cloud over my life.
During a blizzard last year I came dangerously close to screaming at the wind because I was fed up with frigid air being rapidly blown in my face. After being helplessly knocked over several times, I wanted so desperately to assert my dominance and yell into the universe, “I am not your chew toy!” It had been dark for days and my moody, pathetic nature was palpable. Essentially, I was angry and sad, and then angry at myself for being sad.
At the end of the day I was left wondering: who do I curse for this? The world? The winds? Myself?
My body has always been resistant to change, both seasonal or situational. I typically begin to feel strange in November when I can feel the sun tauntingly wave goodbye mid-afternoon.
This peculiar feeling eventually subsides to sadness, which normally takes the form of hyper-fixating on myself and my shortcomings. I tend to channel my negative energy into tangible — but mostly invented — problems. Increasingly exhausted, I feel lazier, less excited, and more hopeless.
So how do I cope with the winter blues, aside from regularly calling my mom and crying to her over the phone? The simplest answer is that I do not and cannot feel 100 per cent better during this time of the year. I have accepted that a bit of sorrow nudges at me during the winter. However, there are methods I can adopt that keep this prodding light, rather than have the full force of sadness punch me in the face.
Most of these suggestions deserve an eye-roll. I still want to smash my head against a wall every time a pretty woman tells me that working out changed her life. Although, I must admit that my mood is more stable when I do work out. It helps me relieve the built-up tension and negative energy that has been sitting in my body throughout the day.
Another cliché suggestion is to laugh as much as possible, whether with friends or by binge-watching John Mulaney’s comedy specials on Netflix. Getting good sleep and waking up earlier also allows you to be generally less exhausted and have more time with the very little sunlight available.
I also want to stress that filling your sadness with consumer goods does not work. I’m still trying to climb out of the self-destructive rabbit hole of finding temporary happiness in materialism. The “Pawnee Rangers” episode of Parks and Recreation has influenced me more than I expected when I first watched the show. For those who have missed out on this iconic moment in pop culture, characters Tom and Donna dedicate one day a year to spending money on whatever ridiculous, gluttonous items they desire — called ‘Treat yo’ self.’ I believe in the ‘treat yo’ self’ mentality — but only when you’re not using it to fill a void in your life. After all, life would be a lot less fun if we refused to allow ourselves moments of unearned, spontaneous hedonism.
With that being said, if you feel constantly sad the worst thing you can do is continuously make unhealthy and self-indulgent choices to make yourself feel temporarily better. I have tried eating chocolate for days and I guarantee that I always feel like a pile of garbage in the aftermath.
The times that I have gone shopping for hours, looking for that perfect pair of boots to define myself and give my life some meaning, only make me feel hollow and empty when I come back home. Instead of feeling fulfilled, I’m left staring at a pair of ill-fitting red cowboy boots that soaked up my money and will probably sit in my closet until I eventually give them away because — let’s be real — I’m never going to wear red cowboy boots. I ultimately feel guilty for spending recklessly, and shallow for seeking happiness in superficial products.
The only way I can actually feel better is by being productive and making up a sense of purpose even when I feel stagnant. However, this is easier said than done considering seasonal affective disorder often makes people less energetic, less interested in activities, and worsens sleep habits.
My main point is to be kind to yourself if you’re sensitive to the winter glum. A lot of people experience intense mood changes in the colder months and it’s not related to your personal strength or character.
