Hookups have become a common part of modern sexual dynamics. Whether you’ve experienced one, know someone who has, or have seen it online, hookups have become a big part of today’s sex and dating cultures. University students have been one of the biggest advocates for this form of sexual behaviour.
While our media often promotes hookup culture as a symbol of sexual liberation — especially for women — I believe it ultimately upholds many of the same patriarchal values that it claims to challenge. Far from being a symbol of sexual freedom, hookup culture reinforces traditional gender roles, perpetuates double standards, and creates a pseudo-feminist environment that ultimately degrades women.
Double standards and contradictions
When I started university, I felt an overwhelming pressure to embrace my sexuality and experiment. It felt as if being sexually active was a way to gain autonomy in my sexual identity and myself. The men around me were praised for having multiple sexual partners, while women — myself included — were labelled with derogatory terms like ‘slut’ and ‘whore,’ for being sexually active, regardless if we were actually having sex.
Sexual double standards become especially apparent when looking at the social consequences of casual sex. A 2015 study conducted on sexual double standards in American colleges shows that both men and women tend to view women more negatively when it comes to sexual behaviour. Researchers found that participants who are men and women both belittled women who hooked up while drunk, calling them “diseased” or “slutty,” while men faced little to no negative judgement for the same actions.
This unequal treatment reveals the deep-rooted gender biases that shape discrimination, even in spaces that are supposed to be progressive and liberated such as universities. If we want hookup culture to truly be a sexually liberal space, people must not contradict themselves by simultaneously shaming women who participate in it.
Ambiguity of language and sexual scripts
When a friend tells me they’re hooking up with someone, I usually wonder what that actually means. Is it a one-night stand? A recurring late-night booty call? Or have they entered the murky waters of a ‘situationship?’ I think the fact that the term ‘hooking up’ is intentionally vague reflects how our modern hookup culture uses ambiguous language as a shield to protect participants’ identities from the potential social embarrassment attached to casual sex.
I believe there are a few reasons for this ambiguity. For men, it helps preserve their ‘masculine’ status. In today’s society, having a higher amount of sexual encounters is often seen as proof of a man’s ‘dominance’ and masculinity.
Yet for women, the ambiguity helps protect their reputations by allowing them to engage in sexual activity without being labelled as promiscuous or losing their ‘good girl’ image. This ambiguity ultimately perpetuates hegemonic masculinity: the cultural idea that men must assert power and dominance — particularly in sexual relationships — while women are expected to be passive and compliant.
The ambiguity of ‘hooking up’ also reinforces the ‘unspoken assumptions’ around gender roles in dating scenarios, by following what sociologists specializing in gender and sexuality studies call “sexual scripts.” These are unwritten, culturally ingrained expectations for how men and women should behave in romantic and sexual contexts, enforcing gender stereotypes by labelling men as ‘pursuers’ for being dominant and favouring casual sex while women are the ‘gatekeepers’ who favour relational sex.
The sexual script is additionally dangerous because it perpetuates the idea that if women are sexually assertive, it poses a potential threat to men’s social dominance. By belittling and enforcing the idea that women should be ashamed of their sexual desires and histories, it keeps them in an inferior position, allowing men to stay on top — pun intended. And, in my opinion, hookup culture is not actually freeing until we stop judging women’s sexual choices.
When it comes to destabilizing the foundation of social scripts, I think it’s important to consider how we speak and think about women’s sexual autonomy, so that there is less fear around women being sexually assertive and pursuing sexual relationships.
Illusion of liberation
I used to think hookup culture offered women the chance to experience sexual liberation, but over time, I have come to realize that it’s more of a pseudo-feminist ideal. It gives the illusion of liberation without enabling true freedom since the rhetoric around women who hook up with others simply perpetuates environments where women continue to live in fear and shame.
This idea makes it seem like women are allowed to have casual sex without the fear of social judgement — but when their behaviour becomes publicly known, they are judged nonetheless. The pseudo-feminist ideal reflects a broad misunderstanding of what I believe true sexual liberation looks like — deconstructing the gendered expectations in sexual contexts, so both men and women can explore their sexual desires without gender-based judgement.
I’m not saying that there isn’t a place for hookup culture in today’s society — if you want to have casual sex, friends with benefits, or a situationship, then by all means, go ahead.
My argument is that calling hookup culture ‘sexually freeing’ and believing that it does not produce any negative repercussions for women is naive. While hookup culture may seem like a step in the right direction towards sexual liberation by allowing women to express their sexual desires, it still perpetuates gender inequality by reinforcing traditional gender roles and harmful sexual double standards.
True sexual liberation would mean everyone could explore their desires without judgement or societal pressures — something hookup culture often fails to provide.
Kallea Bes is a third-year student at University College studying global health and English.
