Let’s face it: some of the books we review here at the Varsity aren’t worth, like, 600 words. In an effort to get you in and out with maximum knowledge and minimum effort, we present Cold Press, quickie book reviews for the burgeoning student.

Droppin’ Science: Straight-up Talk from Hip Hop’s Greatest Voices
Denise L. McIver
Three Rivers Press/Random House

At first glance, I thought this book would be better off in the capable hands of the Varsity’s science editor, for obvious reasons. But further investigation proves that the only experiment going on here is one of linguistics. Who but the rappers can test the limitations of English grammar?

Denise L. McIver’s Droppin’ Science: Straight-up Talk from Hip Hop’s Greatest Voices, is a collaboration of quotes and lyrics from everyone from Bigg Gipp of Goodie Mob to Jay-Z. Topics range from Chapter One’s “Personal Growth” to Chapter 20’s quizzical “Ya Heard?”

Some of the finer moments come when the men who rhyme wax poetic about life and love in that cruel world of money, gold and big-bootied, bikini-clad women: “It ain’t love when the motherfuckin’ sex cost money…” [504 Boyz]. But for real, there’s nothing worse than waking up and realizing you only got ONE Benjamin for that hour of sweet, sexy loving, you know?

But what about the softer, less sticky side of relationships? Tell me about love, Hip Hop! “When you’re fucked up, you need someone you feel like you can talk to.” [Ja Rulz]. But for real, there’s nothing finer than having the munchies with someone who understands your wants and needs.
This is the kind of book you can’t do an adequate review on. It lacks a central theme and character, it lacks a main objective—heck, I think I may have even missed the point. I take my advice from Iggy Pop, since he is the blackest man of the punk rock scene: “The proof’s in the pudding.”

Rating: VV
— The Chung

Punk Rules OK
Chris Walter
Burn Books

The story of a Vancouver punk who happens upon a million bucks one night and must deal with the consequences, Punk Rules OK is a fast-reading, enjoyable bit of fiction not just for punx. It’s accessible to anyone with a touch of rebel inside. Centered around thick-skulled protagonist Meatboy, Walter’s novel takes three seemingly uncommon yarns and weaves them together with predictable, yet amusing results. Somewhat of a babbler, Walter is the layman’s storyteller, coming across like the punk rock Reader’s Digest: simple yet effective. One can tell that he’s using a hearty dose of personal experience to enhance the realistic aspect of the overall fantasy. He’s no Paul Quarrington, but he tells a fun tale, suspending our disbelief for a solid 270 pages.

Rating: VVV
—Keith Carman