Indian-born novelist Rohinton Mistry detained at U.S. border en route to visit family. Homeland Security officials suspect “book” found on Mistry’s person a covert terrorist device designed to inflict lethal “paper cuts” on airline security personnel.
Celebrated author Margaret Atwood reads aloud passages from A Handmaid’s Tale to in-laws for 9,000th fucking time.
U of T president and former physics prof Robert Birgeneau stops by MIT to see how the mind control experiments he started back in the sixties are going.
Cybernetics guru and wearable-computer pioneer Steve Mann sends friends, family e-mail about holiday plans using a keyboard embedded in his suit jacket. Friends, family don’t give a shit.
Former U of T president and fundraising maven Robert Prichard convinces family to donate $10,000 to Alumni Fund following tearjerker post-turkey speech about Bahen Centre construction cost overruns.
Famed literary theorist Northrop Frye, who died in 1991, has leisurely Boxing Day chat with Jesus in Holy Kingdom about current state of postmodernist literary criticism.
Law Faculty dean Ronald Daniels waxes brand-new Jaguar XK in Rosedale driveway over and over.
Tryptophan-induced fatigue from turkey dinner sends Varsity alum Naomi Klein into deep sleep midway through a scathing fireside critique of global trade tariffs.
U of T-educated Latvian president Vaira Vike-Freiberga gets entangled in nasty e-mail flame war with Estonian president Lennart Meri over which former Soviet republic reigns supreme in the “Baltic Bikini Babes” category.
Former U of T chancellor Hal Jackman has soothing hot bath, talks to cat for half-hour, falls asleep in overstuffed armchair.
