The information is finally starting to leak out all over campus concerning the SAC’s student party commemorating their 101st anniversary. For those of you not already aware, here’s a refresher. Apparently, SAC President Rocco decided to throw a good ol’-fashioned ho-down at the Guvernment to celebrate the council’s anniversary. The first problem (besides Rocco’s taste in location: the Guvernment!?!): Rocco forgot to invite the students. The second problem: he spent $22,000 of the school’s money. And the third problem: he held it on Dec. 22nd, when almost all of the student body had already vanished from campus.

Now, I’m never one to be critical (obviously), but I would imagine a really good party contains nearly endless spending and maybe some attendees to spend it on. In response to this little conundrum Rocco Kusi-Achampong claimed (in the Independent Weekly’s January 30th issue) to be “keeping a campaign promise to hold the party in the first term…[and] sticking to the ‘SAC 101’ plan.” Unfortunately I had difficulty translating Rocco’s quote. All I heard was something to the effect of “mmphg funngh humphfg.” But I don’t blame him for the breakdown in communication; it’s hard to talk with both your foot in your mouth and your head in your ass.

But this situation illustrates many of the larger problems of the SAC. These people have no control over anything they do. We all remember the snafu of the 2001 election when allegations arose concerning illegal advertising campaigns, and SAC disqualified all of the candidates. Currently, they are unable to do little things like spend money wisely, consider what the money is being spent on, and—I don’t know—maybe holding the party when people might be on campus, and failing this, telling anyone at all!

I’ll fill everyone in on a little secret: had Rocco given me the money to organize the party, it would have been the best god-damned event of the year, including a washroom attendant who would manually shake for gents and wipe for gals. This aside, I would have allocated maybe a tiny percentage of the $22,000 to tell a couple of students about it.

I’ll also fill you in another little secret: student poverty runs rampant. Although I enjoy Fugazi’s 1991 release entitled Steady Diet of Nothing, I have come to discover that a steady diet of nothing is easier said than done. Here’s a suggestion (and I know this is a bit late): why not take the $22,000 we spent on the one big party this year (among the countless other money holes SAC has found) and divvy it out to those students who need and deserve it. Twenty-two big ones might seem like a lot to spend on a party, but a $1,000 bursary is a hell of a lot more in eyes of 22 starving students.

It’s really disappointing to know that with a student body smaller than either North Korea or Iraq, that if I had the opportunity, Kim Jong-Il or Saddam Hussein would get my vote before Rocco.