It’s 9 p.m. You’re bopping along to some tunes, doing research, and checking your e-mail simultaneously. Aren’t you the seasoned multi-tasker! Mama would be so proud. Ooh child, you’re cruisin’ in the fast lane. And, thanks to the wonders of cyberspace, you can converse with your pal in Idaho without even considering long-distance rates.
But don’t blow it. You’ve got to be as articulate as possible as you chat your life away, while still maintaining your rapier wit. You feel it is crucial to communicate your true self, but that can be difficult: the vague electronic responses in online conversations often lack the essence of the true message. As a result, messenger programs often distort the accurate expression of your self.
The virtual path between you and your buddies contaminates the association of your souls through cyberspace. Like you’re not already misunderstood enough in the physical world!
So, you’re typing away, relying solely on the visual lexicon to save you. Everything he sees on his computer is all he knows of you at this very moment. The screen is your skin, and the little box with words and pictures is your voice. Whatever you say will essentially be hit or miss. There is no way of really knowing how your comments will be interpreted unless you specify how you want them to be perceived, so there is no room for under- or over-indulgence in communication. If your friend does not know you well, saying something you intend to be endearing may actually come across as insulting.
Perhaps you say, “You’re crazy.” Of course, you don’t really think he’s insane, you’re just being charming. But he doesn’t know that: “Oh, yeah?” You think he’s playing along with you, so you continue. “Yeah.” A few minutes pass without a response from him. Maybe he’s doing homework… Oh! There he goes, typing quickly: “I’ve got to go. Bye.”
There you have it, my darling. Congratulations, you’ve graduated from the School of Poor Messenger Etiquette, with an Honours in Emotional Inadequacy. This is a realm most commonly inhabited by males, according to graduate student Janet Baker from San Jose University, but somehow you’ve managed to squeeze in there.
Oh well, these things happen. At least you didn’t graduate top of your class. There are definitely worse things in the world than this situation.
I know. You meant he’s crazy in a good way. But you didn’t make that apparent through the MSN Messenger medium, did you? So, yes, it is your fault.
What happened to your aspirations of maintaining a real conversation? What you had did not mirror your intentions, despite technology’s attempt to improve human contact. So much is lost in translation, but don’t feel ashamed. Sometimes people can’t even seem to get it right face to face. But now, the differences in gender communication styles aren’t the only factors complicating relations.
Think. What did your face look like when you said he was crazy? If you were smiling, why didn’t you use the 🙂 emoticon? Girl, that’s why it’s there. It’s supposed to emulate human expression. These messenger programs should come with warnings: “Chat online at own risk. Great chaos can result from lack of respect for the emoticon.”
If messenger programs continue to be a rite of passage for our generation, someone has got to set things straight. What will redeem us from miscommunication resulting from the misuse of the MSN medium?
Maybe you’re not into that whole “express yourself” motif. Perhaps you’re quite content with emitting emotionally non-satiating responses. If not, maybe the telephone will serve you better. Pick your poison, my dear. Pick your poison.
But if you choose to stick to MSN, and we’re going to place blame here, you are both at fault: you’ve both neglected your humanity by resorting to an electronic conversation. If you’re comfortable with being fused to the realm of global mechanization, then please carry on instant-conversing with emotional dissatisfaction. But if you’re going to make the most of Messenger, the emoticon is a necessity of communication technology.
Human beings are inherently emotional creatures; therefore, if instant messaging is ever going to approach normal interaction, all those involved will need to become emoticon-savvy. And fast. 🙂
