A common misconception exists, among U of T students, that if you want to dance the night away, you have to swallow your pride and visit The Brunswick House or-god forbid-subject yourself to the horrors of clubland. This mistake leads all too many students down a sketchy corridor, to traps set by date-raping thirty-somethings and Civic-pimpin’ 905ers.
As part of The Varsity’s quest to better improve your student experience, we’ve selected a sampling of Toronto’s premiere dance parties in the hopes of protecting you from cheesy, unprovoked grinding attempts, and worse. We are also proud to promote some of Toronto’s finest DJ talent and the creative, hardworking promoters that keep ’em in vinyl. Don’t fall victim to clubland’s siren-like calls (never mind the actual police sirens) and $8.50 domestic beer.
Shit La Merde: $5 @ Sneaky Dee’s Upstairs on Last Friday of every month
A Shit La Merde Toronto dance party is the definitive Toronto dance party. Going strong for over two years, the resident DJ (who shares the event’s moniker) packs floors with self-described “new things, and jams.” Holding his dance party in a rock n’ roll bar, La Merde explains it’s “for kids that aren’t down with the club district.” If you, too, are allergic to Richmond Street, enjoy Sneaky Dee’s and the cheap drinks and signature nachos which are just a trip downstairs.
You might hear: “Worryin” by Phones, “Gimmie All Your Loving” by ZZ Top, “Tenderoni” by Chromeo.
The Clap: $Free @ The Beaver on the second-last Friday of every month
Despite the gonorrhea reference, dance party founder Colin Bergh is clean in our books. More intimate than Shit La Merde, The Clap can mutate into whatever you want it to be. The Queen West locale features a floor packed with regulars with room thankfully left over to chill with close friends. Bergh, the head DJ (alongside Alex Wolfson, Vanessa Fischer) says that he spins “house, electro, hip hop, and pop. Like, party music.” We’ll take his word for it.
You might hear: “Intro” by Alan Braxe & Fred Falke, “My Love” by Justin Timberlake, “This Is Sick” by Solid Groove.
The Skeletwinz: Usually $Free @ The Drake Lounge, the third Saturday of every month
The Drake can be a hard place to throw parties. Since the yuppie clientele in the oversized upstairs lounge is typically older, it can be hard for any aspiring promoter to encourage a dance-friendly atmosphere. Luckily, the Toronto-based DJs Rory Them Finest and Jimmy Limit are far from typical. Their “fashionable music” mandate encompasses “everything from movie scores to Motown” and in just one year they’ve managed to bring in such heavyweights as Pase Rock, Devlin & Darko and Flosstradamus. Respect.
You might hear: “Tony The Beat (Rex The Dog Remix)” by The Sounds, “Just Died In Your Arms Tonight” by Curses!, and “Midnight Swim (Surkin Remix)” by Para One.
Big Primpin’: $5 @ Stone’s Place on the first Saturday of every month
It’s not that other nights aren’t gay-positive; it’s just that none of them attract such a mixed crowd as Big Primpin’. Known as “the gay Energizer bunny of indie dance parties,” Big Primpin’ earns props as the most homosexually-inspired hip hop event in Toronto. Resident DJs Rory Them Finest, Tex and Mi-Nuh Care play “anthemic hip-hop and gay diva” alongside guests including Rapid Ric, The Cut Boys, Paul Devro and My!Gay!Husband!. Diana Ross and Jay-Z have never sounded so good together.
You might hear: “Make It Rain” by Fat Joe Feat. Lil’ Wayne, “I Wanna Dance With Somebody” by Whitney Houston, “Go Getta” by Young Jeezy Feat. R Kelly
Full Effect: $5 @ Tiger Bar w/ Jokers of the Scene. Next: Saturday Feb. 3
Any party located underneath bipster (read: blue collar hipster) breakfast joint Aunties and Uncles pretty much encourages you to try and stay awake until morning, so it’s too bad that this party isn’t after-hours-yet. Tiger Bar is a small but mighty space, with a sizeable dance floor to enjoy banger after banger that DJs Dougie Boom and Fistfight spin until closing. The “underground music for an underground club” event includes Chicago house and Detroit techno. After a couple tracks, you’ll burn off the pancakes you ate upstairs that morning.
You might hear: “WAYUH” (Claude Von Stroke Panty Dropper Mix) by The Rapture, “Duchess Says” (Pirate SoundSystem Remix) by Black Flag, “Work That Motherfucker” by Steve Poindexter.
Fuck Faces: $5 @ Various Locations
Next: Feb. 10 @ Sneaky Dee’s w/ Thunderheist
This party is high-octane. According to one promoter, DJs Cryo, Barbi, Fistfight and Dougie Boom play “music that will make you climb the walls.” Any fan of “aggro party music” will dig the harder vibe, with help from DJs Caps & Jones, Colin Bergh and Andrew Allsgood.
You might hear: “When I Hear Music” by Debbie Deb, “Da Funk (Radio Slave Edit)” by Daft Punk, “Ass N Titties” by DJ Assault.
Footwork Tuesdays $Free @ Andy Poolhall every Tuesday
DJ Fase has been running solid hip-hop parties in Toronto for years. Originally at NASA before it turned into a pizza joint, Footwork Tuesdays guarantees a good showing from the Toronto hip hop community. “It’s really a hip hop, funk, soul, old-school night, but I do a couple sets of pretty much anything I else I might be feeling: R&B, jazz or retro” says Fase. Bonus: you can also play a round of pool before last call.
You might hear: “It depends on the show,” says Fase.
Monday Meetings: $Free @ The Social every Monday
The best thing about this party isn’t the venue (good), the crowd (great) or even the tunes (mostly electro with some oldies, hip hop and rock). It’s that for one very special hour, between 10:30 and 11:30, drinks only cost $1.50. You can live like a baller, buy drinks for all your homies and take a cab home. Rotating DJs keep things fresh, which include Python Brigade, Nicky Rotten, Eroc, Dirty Dale, Dirty 30, Dougie Boom and Douglas Carter.
You might hear: ‘Over & Over” by Hot Chip, “Dance/Not Dance” (Digitalism Mix) by Cajuan, “Never Be Alone” by Justice.
Lust for Kicks: $5 @ 751 Queen. Next: Feb. 3rd, 24th
Pink Mafia, better known for their famous dim sum infused Sport Pig parties at The Bright Pearl Restaurant, also throw this little gem in celebration of shoe fetishists and the music they love. Resident DJs Famous Players play mashups, dance rock, hip hop and 80s pop to a thriving dance floor-with special guests like Matt Mays, Dave from Tokyo Police Club, and Crystal Castles. The next two parties showcase Pink Mafia’s talent for collaboration. Feb. 3rd is Fall Out Boy’s CD release soirée, Feb. 24th is Nine Inch Nails’ DVD release.
You might hear: tunes by The Killers, Rick Ross or Gwen Stefani.
Girls Night Out: $5 (to charity) @ The Queenshead Next: Feb. 10
There’s nothing like getting wasted and helping others at the same time. Girls Night Out is a fake date auction with party benefits going to the Breast Cancer Society of Canada. Strictly female DJ teams spin everything from hip hop to Miami bass to baile funk. So remember to tie on your pink ribbon before you tie one on (with help from their $3.50 beer specials).
You might hear: Something “you’ve never heard before.”
New Kicks: Usually $Free @ The Social, every Wednesday
After going strong for over four years, New Kicks (“straight hip-hop with a touch of class”) recently found themselves homeless after the Gypsy Co-op closed its doors. But fear not, because New Kicks has found a new home a few blocks west. DJs Serious and Fathom share the decks with Toronto DJ staples Dee Jay Caff, Law, 2 Swift Household, Cyro, Tasc and Kid SL. The re-launch, with special guests and mash-up superstars Team Canada, is this Wednesday, Jan. 31.
You might hear: “Watch Out Now” by The Beat Nuts, “I Got a Love” by Pete Rock and CL Smooth, “If I Can’t” by 50 Cent
Foot Prints: $10, $5 before 11pm @ The Rivoli (upstairs) third Saturday of every month
After being profiled in last week’s NOW, you can pretty much expect the next installment of this DJ night to be even more insane than usual. Billed as “Toronto’s premiere underground open-format DJ event,” Foot Prints keep people guessing with a wide range of highly danceable “jazzy-funk’d-out-I-got-afro-soul-boogie-reggae-vibes-salsa-in-my-pants-hot-like-a-brazilian”-type music. Despite the wide array of possibilities, this event is primarily funky-a fact made more obvious by their occasional James Brown tribute night.
You might hear: “Grazing in the Grass” by Hugh Masakela, “This Is Radio Clash” by The Clash, “Soul Power” by James Brown (R.I.P.)
All photographs by Zach Slootsky.
For more cool shots check out his photo blog at www.takemorephotos.com.
