To: Stephen Thomas

From: WAYN.com

Subject: Chris added you as a friend on WAYN

Hi Steve

Chris Babcock added you as a friend on WAYN (Where Are You Now?).

It is the third time he has done so. The first time he added you, you ignored it, because although, in truth, you actually are interested in Where Chris Babcock, a guy you met in Asia and moreover with whom you lived in the same house in the U.K., and who even got you a job there, Is Now, you didn’t want to join another social networking website just to find out.

The second time he added you, you thought, maybe I should get in touch with Chris Babcock—nothing to lose in keeping in touch, right? So you searched for him on Facebook. But you didn’t find him, did you? And, even though you still have his email address—it pops right up in Gmail, all you have to do is type chr—you left it at that. He’ll be on Facebook eventually, you thought.

Now he’s added you for a third time. What’s going on??, you might ask. Maybe he has Facebook now? Well, he doesn’t. At least, it doesn’t look like any of those Chris Babcocks are him. You could email him. You could say “Hey Chris! What’s up??? Saw you added me on WAYN.” Or—and this one we recommend—you could yourself sign up for WAYN. You know, just check the whole thing out. Whaddya say?

To confirm that you are friends and join the worlds’ largest travel and lifestyle community, click on the following link:

http://www.wayn.com/waynfx.html?wci=link&id=1445&mks=?mx=2842719?cx=107761150?cx_token=3

Just so you know: WAYN has changed for the better and is now free to chat, share, search and join. Yeah, we used to charge money. I know, bonkers, right. Have any of our staff even heard of advertising-as-primary-revenue Internet business models?

By the way, you already have 3 new unread messages on WAYN. What could they be?

Regards,

WAYN


To: Stephen Thomas

From: WAYN.com

Subject: Welcome to WAYN

Dear Steve Thomas,

Thanks for signing up for WAYN.

So, how was old Chris Babcock? Oh, you didn’t see him? Didn’t see his profile? Where did he go! Did he really add you any of those 3 times? Or did we do some shady automated quasi-hackerish stuff with his email contact list!

Has Chris Babcock ever even had WAYN? It’s hard to tell!

Anyway, who cares. Even if you aren’t friends with Chris Babcock on WAYN, you already have 7 friends.

Isn’t that weird? Who are these people? You don’t know them. Or do you? Look at their pictures closely; read their profiles carefully. Have you ever met Jennifer Tan? Maybe you did meet her? At someone’s birthday party who you didn’t know? It was a potluck but you didn’t know and didn’t bring anything? The host told you not to worry? You thought you saw a girl being amused by this exchange, sitting at a table in the next room? That was Jennifer Tan. She’s now you’re friend on WAYN. She didn’t add you either.

We hope you enjoy your time with WAYN!

The WAYN Team 🙂

Meet Anna! Meet Rad! Meet Annika! Meet Tom! Meet Marta! Meet WAYN! Meet Carly!

What?! Rad? Annika? WAYN? You should meet WAYN? We want you should meet our social networking website?

Yes!

And so much more!

PS. To set up your account privacy and interaction options click here.

“Rad!”


To: Stephen Thomas

From: WAYN.com

Subject: Your WAYN Desktop

Hi Steve

This is another crazy email we’re sending you just for signing up!

Your WAYN Desktop is available for you to download now! What the hell could a WAYN Desktop possibly be!

Keep in touch with your WAYN account! See who’s online and when your profile is being viewed by other members! Is there any chance at all it isn’t the worst thing you could possibly put on your computer?

Upload all your photos ultra fast, all at once, and manage them into folders, whilst you get on with something else! Was this whole software package written in three hours by an unpaid undergraduate intern high on Snickers!

To start enjoying WAYN Desktop now, click here! We seriously dare you to install it without backing up your important data!

Thanks and enjoy! We bet you five hundred dollars this program will be crazy! Why would you even think about installing this insane program!

WAYN

Note: WAYN Desktop is an application that you download and install on your computer and will work on any PC running Windows 2000, XP or Vista


To: Stephen Thomas

From: WAYN.com

Subject: WAYN sent you a message on WAYN…

Hi Steve

WAYN has sent you a message.

Another one! For no reason! Goofy, right!?

To read the message from WAYN, click on the following link below:

http://www.wayn.com/waynfx.html?wci=link?id=1111&xid=242193675?mailbox=I&lam=13528679&las=1

Thanks,

WAYN

This As It Happens WAYN Alert is brought to you by WAYN.com, the worlds’ largest travel and lifestyle community. Some of us really kind of believe that this latter claim is not totally made up by Marketing, although they have been coy about showing us the figures. Do you believe we are the worlds’ largest travel and lifestyle community? Have you ever heard of us? Obviously we’re going for some weird semantic gambit, hoping you won’t call us on our technical disqualification of say MySpace because MySpace isn’t a “travel community.” On the other hand, maybe it’s true; maybe WAYN really is the worlds’ [sic] (i.e., every possible worlds’) largest social networking thing. Were you aware that there are tons of other really popular social networking things in parts of the world that aren’t North America? Somewhere on the Internet there’s an interesting map of what countries each one is popular in. We think we saw it linked on XKCD; you can probably Google it. There’s so many! Orkus or something?

Remember, WAYN is now free to everyone! Ha ha! Maybe we are based in a different world! We think different worlds might be possible!


To: Stephen Thomas

From: WAYN.com

Subject: Welcome Back to WAYN

Dear Steve Thomas,

Thanks for rejoining to research a “thing”!

You still have the same 7 friends you don’t know! Even after you totally deleted your account! Or tried to!

Pretty interesting, huh? Maybe you’ll never be lonely again!


To: Stephen Thomas

From: WAYN.com

Subject: WAYN!

Hi Steve,

WAYN!

Thanks,

WAYN

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