ESPN writer Bill Simmons recently picked the Toronto Maple Leafs as the seventh most tortured sports franchise. He builds a strong case, mentioning YouTube clips of fans breaking up with the team, the Stanley Cup drought, and specific instances where the team was terribly unlucky. Although I can’t disagree with his analysis, he missed one crucial part of the Maple Leaf experience: no matter how bad things look, Leaf fans are one big trade away from believing.
With Brian Burke at the helm this summer, the Maple Leafs made drastic changes to a team that hadn’t reached the playoffs in four years. A rebuilt defence core shaped around free agent pick-ups Mike Komisarek and Francois Beauchemin, a high draft pick in Nazem Kadri, and a late summer trade for sniper Phil Kessel, proved enough to bring excitement to the team again. Even Toronto’s cynical media types like Damien Cox believed the Leafs could make the playoffs. That was enough for a despondent Leaf fan such as myself to start believing again. I looked at our roster with beer goggles that would have sent me home with Susan Boyle. I convinced myself that Matt Stajan was a capable first line centre, Mikhail Grabovski could mature into a consistent scoring threat, and Vesa Toskala could be motivated in a contract year. I went so far as to bet that if the Leafs finished last in overall league standings, a friend and I would stay the night at the Hotel Waverley at College and Spadina.
Fast forward to last Saturday when the Leafs gave up a 3-0 lead at home to the Vancouver Canucks, putting them in 29th place overall. A despondent Leaf fan once again, I was left hoping to find God before being brutally murdered inside a sketchy downtown hotel. I was just hoping I didn’t have to go before everyone else. I figured a man-made apocalypse would destroy our world and all Leaf fans could be united in our suffering, which only seemed fair.
After questioning my Leaf fandom, I went to bed on Saturday night with thoughts of the Pro Bowl and the Grammys—the NHL was dead to me. However, I follow TSN sportscaster Darren Dreger on Twitter, so my existential fit was only temporary. According to Dreger, there was a trade in the works for the Leafs. No particulars were mentioned. My first instinct was that it was a salary dump of some sort, perhaps that long-rumoured trade of Brent Sopel and a draft pick coming our way in exchange for helping the Chicago Blackhawks win a Stanley Cup—their first since 1961. I am at the point in my Leafs fandom where I am actually happy for other long-suffering franchise fanbases.
Then came the tweet that justified my constant usage of this peculiar social networking application: Dion “Sloppy Seconds” Phaneuf is a Maple Leaf. Like most Leafs (and Flames) fans, I couldn’t believe this was possible. As the trade scenario came filtering in (and the Elisha Cuthbert jokes began), it became increasingly ridiculous. The aforementioned Kadri wasn’t involved, neither was golden boy Luke Schenn. For a package of Phaneuf, penalty killer Fredik Sjostrom, and minor league defensive prospect Keith Aulie, all it took was soon-to-be-unrestricted forward Matt Stajan, the servicable Ian White, the streaky Niklas Hagman and the barely competent Jamal Mayers. As TSN’s Jay Onrait tweeted, this was the kind of trade proposal that “would get you banned from a message board.”
The excitement didn’t end there on this un-lazy Sunday. Reports surfaced that another trade was coming: Jean Sebastian Giguere for Vesa Toskala and Jason Blake. Although this move was an obvious salary dump for Anaheim, Toronto acquired their first experienced goaltender since Ed Belfour. With a Conn Smythe and a Stanley Cup under his belt, it’s feasible that Giguere could undergo a career revival under the tutelage of his long-time goalie coach Francois Allaire. At worst, his $6-million cap hit comes off the books next summer and by then Jonas Gustavsson will have had some time to develop.
Suffice it to say, I was excited by this atypical Sunday afternoon. I was already planning the parade route, dreaming of Tomas Kaberle and Dion Phaneuf on a power play together and Jean Sebastian Giguere reclaiming his past playoff glory. The story of how low our franchise has sunk was replaced by wondering what jersey number Phaneuf would use (opting for number 3, instead of number 24 after the TV show that made his girlfriend famous. Personally I would have preferred number 2 to further solidify his place behind Sean Avery in the annals of Cuthbert history, but I digress).
This is what being a Leaf fan is all about. Two big trades, and everyone is drinking the Kool-Aid again.
