Michelle Wang — a U of T alumna and elementary school teacher — is the author of Oma’s Bag, a heartfelt picture book designed to help children navigate the unique challenges of having a family member diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. 

Inspired by her own family’s experience with her mother-in-law’s diagnosis, Wang tells a story that serves as a tribute to her husband, Steve. Oma’s Bag draws on stories of his mother’s past, which she, Oma — a Dutch word for grandma — shares through items she collects and stores in her bag. Through these stories, the family can connect to Oma as she is, creating new memories together rather than grieving the person they feel they are losing. The Varsity recently spoke with Wang to discuss the importance and impact of her work. 

The Varsity (TV): What was the inspiration for Oma’s Bag? Why is it important to have these conversations with young children? 

Michelle Wang: The idea for Oma’s Bag started out as simply a gift for my family. My mother-in-law had just been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s when she and Opa came to stay with us. The children were always excited when they came to visit, but this time, things were different. Oma’s cooking had become almost inedible, she was forgetful, and things started disappearing around the house. 

When we discovered that Oma had been taking our belongings and hiding them in her bag, the confrontation and accusations could have turned ugly. Instead, the nightly “unboxings” became our favourite time of day — a moment to spend together, laughing over what had been collected and hearing the stories behind them, as much or as many times as she could tell them. I wrote this book because I was inspired by the way our family took proverbial lemons and turned them into the beautiful memories we made and continue to make.

I do think it’s important to have these conversations with kids because, while the overall message of Oma’s Bag is positive, my son reminded me the other day that it was still a difficult time. He particularly remembers an incident with his younger brother, Jacob. Having just returned from a whole day at school, Oma immediately started in on Jacob: ‘When are you going to school?’ ‘Shouldn’t you be getting ready to go to school?’ ‘You need to wear a warmer jacket because it’s cold and you need to go to school.’ 

Jacob tried to be patient and answer politely, but at some point, he became overwhelmed and retreated to his bedroom, visibly upset. We, of course, went up to talk with him to let him know it was okay to be confused and scared or even just frustrated by what was happening. More importantly, we wanted him to know it wasn’t his fault. Looking back now, I think that if I had had a book like Oma’s Bag to share with him, it might have helped him see other families in similar situations and continue the conversation from there.

TV: How does your role as an elementary school teacher inform your writing process?

MW: With Oma’s Bag… the teacher in me saw the collected items in the bag Oma carried around with her as a page from the ever-popular I Spy or Where’s Waldo books. The plot was a tried-and-true ‘whodunnit’ with its accompanying, often zany, ‘red herrings.’ The characters were fun, relatable, and real. But at the core of it all was just a really good story, and when told from the heart, a book that hopefully hit at all the right levels. As a teacher, that’s really all that I look for in a book.

TV: What impact do you hope the book will have, and how has it affected your readers so far?

MW: More often than not, when the topic of Oma’s Bag comes up, the person I am speaking with invariably says, ‘You know, my mom/grandfather/cousin/aunt/neighbour has Alzheimer’s’ and then they go on to enthusiastically share some personal anecdote with me. I love the empathetic sighing, knowing glances, and always, the smiles that come with these exchanges. It helps to talk with someone who has lived a shared experience. 

When I was at the Word on the Street literary festival last fall, introducing Oma’s Bag to new readers, I would start with the usual spiel: my mother-in-law came to visit, things disappeared, and they were found in her bag. The response was always laughter. But when I followed up with: ‘She has Alzheimer’s,’ the immediate reaction was one of embarrassment or a self-conscious apology. I would always have to reassure them that it was okay because it really was a happy story — it didn’t have to be doom and gloom all the time. It was okay to laugh and have fun with it. 

This is the impact I hope the book is having: that it opens up communication and encourages people to feel comfortable having these conversations about Alzheimer’s. The more we talk about it, the more normalized it is and the less stigma there is around how we deal with Alzheimer’s as a society.

TV: What advice would you give to families navigating an Alzheimer’s diagnosis?

MW: One of the most interesting happenstances to come out of writing Oma’s Bag has been the people who have asked me for advice on this topic. At first, I felt wildly unqualified to answer — after all, this was just our little family’s story of how we navigated an Alzheimer’s diagnosis. Who was I to be doling out pearls of wisdom? But after consulting medical professionals about the information on the book’s back pages and hearing their praise for the story itself, I feel slightly more reassured. 

My advice? Try not to take things too seriously. Keep things lighthearted and stay as positive as possible. Hold onto what is still there, instead of focusing on what has been lost. Meet your loved one where they are, and laugh a lot together. I could go on, but honestly, every family has its own story, no less valid than ours. What worked for us might not work for others. This just happens to be our story, and I can only hope you take from it what you will, and, in doing so, be just a bit better for it.

This interview has been edited for length and clarity.

Editor’s Note (February 10, 2:35 am): This article has been edited to reflect that ‘Oma’ stands for grandma in Dutch, not Chinese.